


Fifty Shades of Rei

by whendidthisshowbecomemylife



Category: Free!
Genre: Confessions, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Long-Term Relationship(s), M/M, SO MUCH FLUFF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-28
Updated: 2014-10-25
Packaged: 2018-02-10 20:09:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 35
Words: 37,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2038434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whendidthisshowbecomemylife/pseuds/whendidthisshowbecomemylife
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nagisa has a plan but it goes terribly wrong (or maybe terribly right).</p><p>Basically the story of how their friendship turns into something more and some of the milestones they experience together in the time to come!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Self-Control

The blond held tightly onto his mobile phone in an attempt to stop the shaking of his hands as he approached the taller boy. Rei was sitting on the edge of the pool, his legs spread a bit apart, feet grazing the surface of the water and his shoulders hunched slightly. His hands rested on the ground on either side of him and he seemed to be lost in thought, his brow furrowed slightly, but his features soft nonetheless. Nagisa took a deep breath and forced an enthusiastic spring into his step as he approached the boy he had just been studying so carefully.

The element of surprise was key – Rei wasn’t someone who was very open to physical affection, but Nagisa had had enough time to test the waters and learn a trick or two. Sure, if Rei-chan could see it coming he would twitch in discomfort or try to dodge, and if you asked for it he would most certainly refuse, but if you managed to ambush him, and especially if you managed to do it when he was relaxed and in a good mood, he’d let you do whatever you pleased. Or at least that’s how he was with Nagisa. So the shorter boy kept this in mind as he approached the other casually but quietly, doing his best to take advantage of the fact that Rei was not wearing his glasses and so was almost certain not to see the trap coming.

Nagisa jumped the last two steps and in under a second managed to fit his bottom between Rei’s thighs, sitting sideways to Rei so that they could be as close as possible, while still being able to look at each other. As soon as he was settled and Rei had clearly been pulled out of his thoughts with a throaty yelp and his mouth opening to protest to the blond’s close proximity, Nagisa interrupted him with a loud and sugar-coated „Rei-chan!“. Just as expected, Rei’s blossoming discomfort at the position Nagisa put them both in started withering at the sound of his team mate’s voice and his lips twitched up into a small smile. 

Nagisa held onto his phone even tighter, this time to try to soothe his heart and his stomach, both of which felt like they had grown their own pairs of legs and were currently having a race around his ribcage. Being around Rei was hard enough under regular circumstances – regular meaning when they were both fully clothed, when they weren’t sitting this close to each other, when Rei was wearing his glasses so the sparkling violet of his eyes was slightly clouded by the lenses, and when the sun wasn’t shining it’s last rays at the perfect angle to light up the younger boy’s face like he was the one the entire world was revolving around and as long as he continued to shine, life would go on.

„Rei-chan, I found some pictures from when I was small on the family computer and I wanted to show them to you so I copied them onto my phone!“ the blond blurted. Rei smiled properly this time, and chuckled, as if more to himself than anyone else.

„You couldn’t have just waited until the next time I come over to show them to me, Nagisa-kun?“ 

„Nooo, because it’s Friday and I’m spending this whole weekend at Rei-chan’s house, so if I was to show them to you the next time you came over I’d have to wait a whole week and by then I would probably have forgotten!“ the smaller boy replied, making sure to decorate his excuse with the pout he’d spent nights practicing in his bathroom mirror (though he’d never admit it to anyone), a perfected version of the one that was already a foolproof way of breaking down any defensive wall Rei attempted to build. The goal was very simple – Nagisa wanted to sit as close to Rei as possible and he couldn’t stay like this unless he had an excuse. Showing Rei a bunch of random pictures that have been on his family computer for years but were nowhere near spectacular enough to ever be looked at would give the breaststroke swimmer at least a good five minutes to stay like this. 

Nagisa started clicking through his phone, bringing up the first photo – a shot of him and his oldest sister from five years ago. They’re really not doing anything spectacular. Nagisa is smiling like he always is and his sister looks bored, but the blond caught the way Rei’s smile widened as he scrutinised the screen. He leaned in a little closer to Rei and was ready to give the excuse of wanting Rei-chan to see it clearly without his glasses but no questions were asked, so he clicked to the next shot.

They sat like this through maybe twelve pictures, Nagisa adding in a short (and made up) commentary for most of them to maintain Rei’s entertainment when faced with photos that didn’t depict anything exciting. The smaller of the two was getting impatient – he wanted to be even closer and he was tempted by how easy it was to get this far. He tipped a bit more to the side until his shoulder was resting against Rei’s chest. He held his breath for a bit and kept his gaze locked on his phone as he pressed the button to bring up the next image. He could see out of the corner of his eye how Rei glanced at him, but then he was looking at the screen again and the only thing that was different (other than the angle from which Nagisa could see him) was the pink dusting his cheeks. 

„How many of these are there, Nagisa-kun?“ he questioned, his jaw and shoulders visibly tensing a little. 

This should have been where Nagisa took a U-turn. He should have jumped up at this point, laughed and just forgotten the whole thing. He’d never been this close to the other before and it was a miracle the smaller hadn’t been pushed into the pool for how much he’d interfered in Rei’s personal bubble. But the pink was crawling over the curve of his cheekbone and his hair was still a bit damp from the pool water. The light was hitting his face at just the right angle for Nagisa to see every individual eyelash and just by looking he could almost feel how soft the other’s lips were, parted slightly, his question still clinging to them gently, as if begging to be wiped away. Before he knew it Nagisa was leaning in and even in his hazy confused state of mind he could tell he was nowhere near brave enough to aim for Rei’s mouth, so he planted a quick soft kiss to his cheek instead. Nagisa’s head snapped sideways to face the pool. His fingers tightened around his phone again eliciting a loud beep from where he must have pressed a button – the boy chose to believe it was the sound that made Rei give a small jump.

Nagisa wanted to run away. He wanted to flop into the pool and drown. He wanted to do anything but he was paralyzed – fingers nearly crushing his phone, eyes wide open, lips pressed firmly together. He wasn't even shaking anymore. He overestimated how much self control he had. Oh boy, he overestimated it by lightyears. Rei wasn’t saying or doing anything either and maybe he was so mad at Nagisa that he died, or maybe it was second-hand embarassment that had killed him?

„We’re going back now guys!“ Makoto suddenly broke the terrifying silence from the other side of the pool, apparently oblivious to the beautiful display of idiocy Nagisa had just graced the universe with. The unexpected sound of the captain’s voice still wasn’t enough to make him move his muscles and in his mind he started wondering how he was going to tell his parents to take him to the hospital if he couldn’t move to tell them that he was actually paralyzed. 

„Nagisa-kun?“

Oh god. He didn’t respond. Rei sounded calm. Was that good? Or was it absolutely tragic?

„We should head inside too.“

Something snapped in Nagisa’s mind and he must have remembered how to function because he swallowed, mumbled a pathetic 'yeah' and even managed to move a bit to try and scramble out of Rei’s lap, never to be seen again, but suddenly he felt an arm slide under his knees and another gently settle across his back. By the time he realized that the only possible owner of those arms was Rei himself, he was in the air, his side pressed against the other’s abs, his stomach and heart racing again, and then he was being lowered onto his feet and Rei was looking into his eyes and smiling. Nagisa’s brain made the immediate connection between a smile and happiness and allowed it to spark some hope inside the teenager’s fluttering heart. Maybe?

„Come on, we don’t want to miss the train!“ and Rei was walking away, head held high and a slight spring in his step that was unfamiliar but strangely exciting. Nagisa stood frozen for a while longer before everything came into place. Nagisa kissed Rei. Rei was happy. That must mean that Rei was happy that Nagisa kissed him. 

The blond ran to the changing room with a sickeningly sweet grin and eyes watering with hope and relief. This was going to be the best weekend of his life.


	2. Solutions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rei's POV

Rei sat on the edge of the pool, feet dipped in the cool water. Practice was over and everyone was taking a couple minutes to relax before they went to get changed and headed out for the weekend. Rei usually spent his weekends with Nagisa and this one was going to be no different, which is what troubled the butterfly swimmer. 

Nagisa was always a problem for Rei. He had been from the first time he mentioned the swim club, and it was obvious from the beginning that he was bad news – after all, who in their right mind joins the swimming club when they can’t swim? For someone who loved logic as much as he did he sure did some stupid things since the blond atomic bomb entered his life. 

But it wasn’t just what Nagisa did to what had previously been a stone path into his future that was worrying. Nagisa was now less of a puppy that Rei had to be careful not to trip over, and more someone that Rei instinctively (and willingly) would do anything for. That was the nature of the problem, and it was not something Rei could research or analyse or even explore – he knew perfectly well that this was an area that had not been scientifically explained in full detail so far, and he could read every single love story ever written and he still wouldn’t understand or know what to do. Nagisa was the most simple problem in the world with the most complicated solution.

Rei’s view of the ripples that skidded along the surface of the water was covered by a large blob, and as Rei’s eyes managed to focus on his interruption the boy was startled, but not entirely surprised, to find that what was now lodged on the ground between his thighs was a small blond problem. He was just opening his mouth to voice his protest (though secretly he would have loved nothing more than to pull Nagisa even closer, but that would have to wait until another life) when he was cut off by the loud, and blatantly rehearsed, melody of Nagisa’s signature ‚Rei-chan’. Gentle magenta eyes boring happily into his violet ones had already begun melting Rei’s resolve and maybe today was one of those days when he didn’t have the energy to even try to fight it. 

The position Nagisa picked out for them this time was more compromising than Rei had grown accustomed to – the blond was sitting with his behind between the older’s knees and his legs stretched out in front of him, gently supported on Rei’s thigh. His back was perfectly straight in a way that looked almost uncomfortable and his head was turned to look right at into Rei’s eyes. The boy groaned inwardly – there was no convincing Nagisa to get off him and pushing him into the pool seemed far too cruel, especially considering Nagisa’s bright smile and how his eyebrows were raised in anticipation as if just waiting to see how his team mate would react. Rei decided to humour him and gave no sign of discomfort as he smiled gently down at the glowing menace. 

„Rei-chan,“ he exclaimed with an excited little jump that made Rei’s stomach tighten, „I found some pictures from when I was small on the family computer and I wanted to show them to you so I copied them onto my phone!“

The blue-haired boy now took note of the phone that Nagisa was clutching tightly in both hands. He must have been really excited about this if he was holding the device like it was the last thing that could stop him from literally bursting with joy and Rei couldn’t help but smile wider and chuckle quietly as he took in the sight before him. Total compliance was not his style and he knew that if he made things too easy for Nagisa the boy would definitely take advantage of him every step of the way, so he questioned, „You couldn’t have waited until the next time I come over to show them to me, Nagisa-kun?“ but he didn’t even bother to try to conceal his amusement. 

Nagisa’s face twisted into the entirely anticipated pout. This was an expression that was the equivalent to bringing a gun to a knife fight. It was a dead-end as it was, but today it was a little different. The blond’s eyebrows were raised just a little higher and his cheeks puffed out just a little more than usual and the surprising unfamiliarity of the gesture that Rei had seen hundreds of times already did little to lower his blood pressure. His fingers twitched against the warm concrete and his breath hitched in his throat, a sound that would have been embarassing if Nagisa had heard it, but he was already rambling at the speed of light. „Nooo, because it’s Friday and I’m spending this whole weekend at Rei-chan’s house, so if I was to show them to you the next time you came over I’d have to wait a whole week and by then I would probably have forgotten!“

Nagisa shifted his gaze onto the screen of his phone and he started pressing buttons to bring up the first picture. Rei watched his face for a little longer, focusing on how his hair laid softly against his cheeks and forehead and how his eyelashes were much darker than you’d expect, until the beeping sounds subsided and it was time to see what Nagisa wanted to show him. 

The picture on the screen was a little blurred due to Rei not wearing his glasses, but he could make out a younger Nagisa with a girl who was unmistakably one of his older sisters. The boy was wearing his trademark smile and his sister had the expression of someone who had to spend a large portion of their life dealing with the chaotic mess that her brother must have always been. The picture became more focused all of a sudden and a distinct warmth flooded over Rei’s torso as Nagisa leaned a little closer to his friend. 

The tips of Rei’s fingers pushed harder into the ground but he forced himself to remain calm – the closeness wasn’t unwelcome and it wasn’t uncomfortable either, per se, rather it was the itch in his chest and the temptation to suffocate Nagisa in a hug that was difficult to control. He was pulled out of his thoughts by a beeping sound as the blond pulled up the next image and started telling a story that was a little too detailed to have been entirely true. Rei listened but couldn’t give it his full attention even if he tried. He was getting fidgety and he was really pressing his luck. He could feel Nagisa’s breath gliding smoothly across his jaw when he talked and they were frighteningly close. All Rei had to do was move his upper body a couple centimetres and he’d be coating the small boy’s face with kisses and the realization only made him want to do it more. He concentrated on keeping his breathing even and watching the screen, but suddenly Nagisa’s warm shoulder was leaning against his sternum and his story-telling had stopped.

Rei’s muscles clenched painfully. He needed to get out. He didn’t want to be rude, but it was better than assaulting his friend. „How many of these are there, Nagisa-kun?“. If his body wasn’t running on survival instinct rather than conscious decision-making he would surely have stuttered, but his mind was already sprinting to the locker room. There was a silence that seemed to stretch into years. Rei waited in what must have come off as patience but was in reality progressive brain degeneration. Something warm and a little wet landed on the skin right under his cheekbone and Nagisa’s head snapped around to face the pool so quickly it was a miracle it didn’t spin all the way around. Rei couldn’t help the jump his body gave. Nagisa’s phone gave a haphazard beep in contribution to the awkwardness of the situation, but it wasn’t something that Rei’s mind even bothered to register. He stared at the back of Nagisa’s head. The boy was painfully still. His muscles were held tight and Rei wasn’t even sure if he was breathing. Neither of them moved a single muscle or made a single sound. Makoto shouted something from across the pool but Rei didn’t hear him. Nagisa had kissed him. Not only had Nagisa kissed him, but he’d gotten embarassed about it. The blond never got flustered about interfering with anyone’s personal space until now. Maybe the solution hadn’t been as complicated as Rei thought.

The taller was pulled out of his thoughts by the sensation of a smile stretching his lips. He looked up and quietly took a deep breath, catching the sight of Makoto and Haru entering the buildings. For the first time in forever Rei’s heart was beating at an even pace even as he looked at Nagisa and he was surprised by how calm he felt. „Nagisa-kun?“ he inquired softly, not wanting to startle the other. He still didn’t move. „We should head inside too.“

The blond’s shoulders gave a little twitch and he swallowed loudly. Rei might have heard a faint sound of agreement, but he was too busy leaning in and wrapping one arm around Nagisa’s waist and supporting the backs of his knees with the other. He picked the blushing mess up bridal-style and lifted himself with new-found ease. Rei finally got a good look at Nagisa’s face, which was almost as pink as his eyes, and then settled him onto his feet on the concrete. The taller boy gave him a couple seconds to calm down and to see the smile on Rei’s face before turning around and beginning to walk lightly towards the locker rooms. „Come on, we don’t want to miss the train!“

A couple seconds passed before he caught the excited pitter-patter of feet behind him.


	3. The Tourist

The water trickled down the boy's back in cool soothing streaks. His eyes were closed and his palms laid flat against the wall in front of him. He could hear the sounds of his teammates chatting carelessly in the other stalls but he didn't register what they were saying.

Nagisa was in one of those stalls, no doubt thinking about their interaction by the pool. Though his intentions for kissing Rei hadn't been voiced, they seemed to be pretty clear. The blue-haired boy was in deep trouble.

It was never doubtful that Nagisa was an absolute menace, both as a teammate and as a friend, and now Rei was diving into much deeper and wilder waters. The thought of being with Nagisa in such a serious and eventually mature manner made Rei feel like he did before taking that foolish dive at that dreadful joint practice with Samezuka when he made an absolute idiot of himself in front of his teammates and their rivals. He was teetering on the edge of doing something that he knew he had no clue how to even begin to approach, and yet he had no desire to turn around. The thought of being so close to really having Nagisa and being had by him and then throwing it all away (as well as inevitably causing Nagisa pain) was as irrational as Makoto-senpai's fear of the supernatural.

With everything that Nagisa had become to him over the course of a year it was hard to believe that they were ever strangers. The idea that Rei probably saw the adorable blond in the halls and didn't look twice at him was as fascinating as any fictional concept could be and Rei would rather have spent the rest of his life trying to understand every single language in the world than try to comprehend how it was ever possible. The radiant body and the glistening magenta irises that seem to capture every movement and every emotion they experienced once looked at Rei and saw nothing more than a face and a body, until one day they saw more. One day he wasn't just some kid from school, he was that Ryugazaki who's in track but who should be in the swimming club. Girly names aside, somehow Nagisa perceived something about him that he himself never had and believed in it strongly enough to spend so much effort trying to teach him how to swim and trying to help him adjust to Makoto-senpai's overwhelming kindness and Haruka-senpai's oddities. The energetic boy showed diligence and patience Rei was surprised anyone was capable of, let alone someone who couldn't sit in silence for more than five minutes, and if he could then something was terribly wrong. Nagisa turned Rei's life around by showing him the merits and the beauty of openness and affection and warmth towards others.

There was no doubt in Rei's mind that Nagisa was his saviour but also his downfall - at some point Nagisa became more than a tour guide and turned into the unknown city the butterfly swimmer was stumbling through. Maybe it was the first time Nagisa came over to his house and insisted they watch a horror movie and ended up clinging to Rei's back and peeking at the screen over his shoulder. Maybe it was the first time Rei heard the blond mumble his name in his sleep. Maybe it was the time Nagisa was so adorably sleepy he walked into a doorframe or how he snorted tiredly as he laughed at himself for it. Or maybe it was all the less conventionally sweet things he did, like getting food all over his face everytime he ate, or drooling everywhere in his sleep, including on Rei's shoulder and his homework, and how whenever they were studying together he would do everything he possibly could to distract Rei from the task at hand. Perhaps it wasn't any one thing that changed what he was to the younger boy, maybe it was everything together. There was no way to tell if everything, from the first time Nagisa asked him to join the swim club, was building up to the moment by the pool or if it was always going to lead them there regardless of the journey.

Rei caught the sound of the other showers switching off and the wet slapping of freshly washed feet against cold tiles. He stopped his water and shook his hair off before reaching for his towel. He was in no hurry, even though he could hear Nagisa pestering Haruka-senpai in the locker room. The melody of Nagisa's voice, loud and too high-pitched for a sixteen year old boy, settled over his head in a pleasant warm fuzziness of anticipation and giddiness. It was definitely going to be a long and exhausting weekend.


	4. What We're All Looking For

"Mako-chaaan, how are your times? My times are getting better according to Gou-chan!"

"That's great Nagisa! My times are a bit better too but I still have a bit of work to do. Haru, you got a new personal best today, didn't you?"

Haru looked at the other two briefly and mumbled an affirmative response as he headed into his stall. Makoto and Nagisa exchanged pleased looks and made for their own shower stalls. Nagisa quickly glanced at the door of the stall he knew Rei was in before shutting the door, dropping his towel on the little bench and turning the water on. It rained down onto his small frame in a cold sprinkle eliciting a violent shiver from the boy. Once the temperature had risen to the one he originally set the shower to, he stepped under the stream and sighed deeply and contentedly. They were going to shower, get dressed and then head back for the weekend - Makoto to Haru's house and Nagisa to Rei's.

Nagisa was still nervous. Rei had picked him up and seemed pleased with the turn of events but that's not the same as actually stating clearly what his feelings for the other were, so the small swimmer had no real right to assume the affection was mutual - maybe Rei was just being nice and trying to limit his friend's humiliation? And even if he did like Nagisa back it was likely not as much as Nagisa liked him. 

Makoto asked the blond about it a couple weeks ago when they were watching Haru and Rei doing their laps and Gou running after them with a stopwatch in one hand and a clipboard in the other. 

"How does he make you feel?"

It was an easy question to come up with an answer to, but the response was too difficult to voice. His feelings were so contradicting and complex and confusing when he actually tried to sort through them. Rei made him feel excited and energetic, like he could run around the planet and have energy for some more still, but at the same time he made Nagisa feel eerily calm. Nagisa always talked so much about everything around the blue-haired boy but he never felt like he had to. He could spend the rest of his life in silence if the other was there with him. Perhaps that sense of peace came from his trust for Rei. He never doubted the purity of their friendship and he never thought that maybe he was unwanted and maybe he was unnecessary. He wasn't a third wheel with Rei so he didn't need to do everything he could to be seen and noticed. If he pictured being in a room with Rei and just sitting in silence it didn't seem boring or tedious or uncomfortable because he knew that when he was with Rei, Rei was with him too. 

The younger boy made Nagisa feel confident and nervous at the same time. When his friend would look at him it would be an honest look, with nothing to hide, swimming with affection and care but also with admiration and respect, like they were equals. Rei made Nagisa want to take care of him like he had tried to do so since the other joined the club - whether it was teaching him how to swim, helping him to feel like he fit in, pulling him unconscious out of the ocean, or slowly chipping away at the wall the track star built to accomplish dreams that belonged not to him, but his older brother, slowly revealing his adorable, caring and funny nature. 

And most of all he made Nagisa feel lucky. Lucky to be here, even if it meant disappointing his parents, because going to Iwatobi High School not only meant the blond boy could swim with his friends, which he knew his parents didn't understand, but it also meant he met someone who made him feel like a gift to the world, and who made him feel like everything was going to be okay no matter what happened, which was something he knew his parents could understand. Nagisa didn't know what it was that attracted him to the hard exterior, the mind that was so enveloped in the words of the physics book he was reading, the strong hand that held onto the railing of the train, the lips that were turned down into a cold frown. Could he already then sense the warmth Rei was now accustomed to showing? Was that even possible? "Don't be silly, Nagisa-kun, such unscientific things are not possible!"

He hadn't given an elaborate response to Makoto. He doubted he could if he tried but he thought about it a lot. He'd liked people before, both boys and girls, but Rei was different. Rei was reliable and trustworthy. He was a constant and he didn't let Nagisa feel any doubt - isn't that what everyone looks for? Isn't that what all those books and movies are really about? Finding someone who makes you feel so sure about where you stand you don't spend any time doubting the happiness you feel because it's so undeniable and strong it leaves no room for reconsidering? 

He stood for a while looking across the pool at the impressive body gliding through the water. Rei was always improving and he was always doubling his efforts to improve. Makoto was still looking at him, he could feel it, but he didn't look back at him when he finally responded. 

"Ne, Mako-chan, if I told you I loved him would you tell me I'm too young to know what that means?"

Makoto patted him on the back, as cheerful as ever, "Don't be silly, Nagisa, nobody's too young for things like that! I'm happy for you!"

Nagisa reached for the knob to turn the water off, wondering excitedly how the weekend would turn out. He decided not to be shy but not to press his luck either - he'd see what Rei does and then see how things go from there. It was definitely going to be a life-changing weekend.


	5. Taking Hold

Makoto and Haru rounded the corner and slipped out of Rei’s sight. Before he even had time to drop the hand with which he had been waving goodbye he felt the weight of a certain blond bombshell clinging to his other arm. 

„Rei-chaaaan, let’s gooo or we’ll miss the train!“ a sing-song voice reached his ears and he couldn’t help but smile fondly before turning to Nagisa who was now tugging him roughly in the direction of the train station. The smaller boy seemed more excited than he usually was, with a sweet pink blush etched onto his round cheeks and his steps light and jumpy. They walked for a while in their usual manner – Rei taking in their surroundings to make sure Nagisa didn’t accidentally step onto the road or walk into other people on the sidewalk, and the other chatting rapidly about everything and nothing at all. Rei listened half-heartedly to a story Nagisa had already told him at least four times in the last week, when suddenly he felt warm fingers wrap gently around his and give a little pull to the left. 

„Ne, Rei-chan, look! That cloud looks like an ant!“

Rei looked at where Nagisa was pointing. His mind was only half focused at trying to discern any similarity between the appearance of the cloud and that of any ant he had ever seen any picture of, but his thoughts were whirling around the hand that was still resting in his. Nagisa’s fingers were as warm and soft and slender as Rei had always pictured them to be, if not more gentle than he had anticipated. Rei felt his face heat up and his heartrate rise with every moment their hands remained connected. The physical contact was exhilirating and yet felt so natural that Rei was tempted to squeeze Nagisa’s hand to stop it from slipping away. The boy hummed a little to give the impression that he had actually been concentrated on seeing what apparently only Nagisa could find. The blond began moving forward again and his hand let go of Rei’s slowly, as if hesitantly. 

They continued walking, but it was only about two minutes before Nagisa was pulling at Rei’s hand again, this time more enthusiastically, and marvelling loudly at the candy store they were passing (which fortunately was already closed). Rei pushed his glasses up to hide the fond smile he couldn’t stop from blooming on his face at the sight of the giddy blush on his friend’s face.

„Nagisa-kun, you are too easily excited.“

The other boy spun around so he was walking backwards in front of Rei. His hands were now joined behind his back in that heart-melting way that made his shoulders shift back and his chin jut forward in a childish gesture. 

„But that’s just because I’m with Rei-chan!“

Rei’s body jolted violently at the response, but Nagisa had already whirled back around and was walking towards the station, which was already in sight. Rei’s mouth opened and closed a couple times as he struggled to find a witty retort and control the redness of his cheeks. In the end, he simply caught up with his energetic companion and walked side-by-side with him, their shoulders bumping and brushing occasionally, in a comfortable, warm silence.


	6. Hands, Eyes and Soft Lips

They arrived at the station just in time to catch the train to Rei’s house. They approached the doors side-by-side, and, as usual, Rei stepped aside to let Nagisa pass through first. Nagisa smiled at him and was about to get on when he felt a warm pressure on his lower back seeping in through the thin material of his t-shirt. His fingers gripped the strap of his sports bag more firmly as he inhaled through his nose. His cheeks were burning uncomfortably and his body was shaking with aggravation at his mind’s frantic efforts to try and figure out if Rei’s actions were simply friendly or something more. The blond leaned into the touch gently and the hand lingered for a second or two after they had gotten onto the train. They took their usual seats, with Rei next to the window and Nagisa on his left, their bags under their feet and their shoulders touching in soft reassurance of the other’s presence.

They always sat like this and with so little space between them, but Nagisa always thought it had just been Rei’s subtle and shy way of returning some of the physical affection Nagisa showered him in. Had it been more than that all this time? The thought made the short boy’s heart give a huge leap around his ribcage. He was pulled out of his thoughts by a familiar voice, though laced with a softness and tenderness he hadn’t heard before.

„Nagisa-kun? Are you all right?“ Rei questioned, a shallow crease of worry between his thin eyebrows. „You’re quiet and you seem tense.“

Nagisa smiled brightly at the other boy and shook his head in response. Rei was always worrying about him and making sure he was okay. A lot of the time when Nagisa would initiate physical contact Rei would let him, even if it was clear he wasn’t entirely comfortable with it (something that Nagisa shamelessly exploited) just to please the other boy. He was quicker to sense when something was wrong than Makoto or Haru and he had a way of telling exactly what to say and do to help. It was a beautiful quality the blue-haired swimmer probably had no idea he had, one that contributed greatly to how much Nagisa trusted him unconditionally and how at ease he felt with him. 

„Look, Nagisa-kun!“ 

Nagisa lifted his eyes to Rei’s face. Rei was looking at him with softened features and a warm smile lifting his pale cheeks. When he saw he had Nagisa’s attention, he turned his head to look outside the window and gave a small nod to motion that what he wanted to show his friend was outside. 

„I don’t think I’ve ever seen this many stars. The sky is really clear tonight.“

Nagisa looked out the window. The dark blue sky was painted with shining freckles and not a single cloud was in sight – the night sky was completely exposed in a majestic canvas of blacks, greys, blues, purples and confident golds. The boy smiled. It was just like Rei to spot everything and anything beautiful before anyone else. He pushed thoughts of romanticism to the back of his mind as out of the corner of his eye he caught the other boy glancing at him. 

They returned to sitting in silence after that, their shoulders pressed together a bit more snugly than they had been before. After a couple minutes, Nagisa rested his head on Rei’s shoulder and pretended to be asleep as he had done so many times they had ridden the train together. It’s a miracle Rei had never figured it out. Such a smart boy could be fooled so easily into believing that someone with so much energy could lose it all and slip out of consciousness so quickly. Rei’s shoulder was warm and Nagisa’s forehead was resting on a strip of bare skin between the other’s collar bone and neck. His skin was smooth and the touch felt electric. Nagisa found it even harder than usual to slow his breathing down and deepen it into light snores. His mind was racing as if every person on the planet had bet on it. He caught Rei sighing gently, probably exasperated at being used as a pillow once again, or maybe it’s a gentle chuckle?

Just as Nagisa was about to tilt his mouth open slightly and give his best performance of a sleepy mumbled ‚Rei-chan’, he felt Rei turning his head slowly, so as not to wake his companion, and soft damp lips pressing against the skin of his forehead. It took every ounce of energy Nagisa had to stop his breath from hitching and his lips from smiling and himself from pouncing on Rei. He focused entirely on the feeling of the other’s breath fanning through his hair as he leant away, his lips loitering for a few seconds before disappearing completely. Maybe Rei likes him after all. This was going to be the best weekend of his life.

Not more than five minutes later Rei shook the secretly wide awake boy to announce that their stop was approaching.


	7. Action Movies and Beans

The two boys walked in their usual manner from the train station to Rei’s doorstep. Nagisa pushed through the door the second it was opened and gave an enthusiastic shout of „pardon the intrusion“, before pulling his sneakers off and endulging in a brief conversation with Rei’s mother, who had come to greet them. Rei pulled his own shoes off with a sigh before greeting his mother himself and quickly being pulled to his bedroom by his blond friend.

Nagisa dropped his bag next to the door and skipped across the room to leap into Rei’s bed. The blue-haired boy watched with exasperation at the increasingly tragic state of his sheets as the other rolled around and hopped up and down a little. 

„Dinner will be ready in about 40 minutes. Shall we start a movie in the meantime?“

Nagisa sat up abruptly with a theatrical gasp. „Ooooh, Rei-chan, your ideas are as brilliant as ever! I actually brought a couple movies with me!“

The boy hopped off the bed and towards his sports bag and started to rummage through it, spilling various items of clothing. Rei’s hand twitched in the direction of his newly messy floor but he refrained from cleaning up his friend’s things. He’d force him to do it later. Nagisa pulled two DVD boxes out with a triumphant cry and held them out so Rei could inspect them. The swimmer leaned in to examine the cover images and titles. Of course, Nagisa had chosen a horror movie and some American action film. Rei sighed and went to sit with his back against the side of his bed. 

„I doubt watching a horror movie right now is the smart thing to do, so... the action movie, I guess.“

Nagisa grinned brightly. Obviously, he had anticipated this response and was only asking Rei to get confirmation that his plan had worked – why anyone would plan for things that were certain to occur anyway, Rei had no idea, but this was Nagisa and he always did things that didn’t make any sense. The smaller boy started the movie and sat next to Rei. The film began in a typical manner – the tragic backstory of the main character illustrating the source of a weakness which he will eventually overcome with the help of the conventionally attractive female lead. Rei was relatively grateful for the predictable plot considering how Nagisa could not sit quietly for more than a couple minutes at a time.

„Rei-chan, do you know what’s for dinner?“

„No, I do not, Nagisa-kun.“

„Is there going to be dessert, though?“

„You know my mother always gets strawberry shortcake when you come over, Nagisa-kun.“

„Oooooh, your mom’s the best, Rei-chan!“

„I’ll pass the sentiment on to her.“

„Your dad’s really nice, too!“

„I’m sure he’ll be happy to know you feel that way.“

„I wonder why Rei-chan is so mean, then...“

„Excuse me?“

„Aaah, I just said ‚Rei-chan is a bean’!“

„Yes, I thought that was what I heard.“

„Rei-chan, can we have sweets after dinner?“

„You want to eat candy after eating cake, Nagisa-kun?“

„Yeees!“

„Fine.“

Nagisa gaped at him open-mouthed. Rei didn’t take his eyes off the screen, though he didn’t try to contain his pleasure at shocking his scarily sneaky friend.

„You’re the guest, Nagisa-kun, it is my job to please you.“

„That’s what she said...“

„Pardon?“

„I said ‚that’s really sweet’, Rei-chan!“

„Ah, okay.“

They watched the movie in silence for another twenty minutes. Nagisa’s body slumped more and more against Rei’s until his head dropped gently onto his taller friend’s shoulder and he gave a small sigh of content. Rei looked at the blond mess from the corner of his eye. It was just like Nagisa to bring a movie and then fall asleep in the middle of it. The boy was always so lively and so fast-paced, it seemed he was sometimes too fast even for himself. Rei didn’t mind – Nagisa’s excitable nature kept their friendship interesting; kept Rei’s daily life interesting. The boy brought so many changes along with him, but so far none of them had been unwelcome. Rei thought back on the events of that day. He could feel their relationship shifting into a more intimate one. He was almost 100% certain Nagisa’s feelings for him were more than platonic, with the kiss by the pool and the grabbing Rei’s hand and the flirtatious comments... There was, of course, a minute chance that Nagisa was just testing Rei and his boundaries, as he so often tended to do, but then why would he have gotten so embarassed after kissing Rei’s cheek? No, Rei was 99.9% sure. 

He shifted his arm so it rested loosely around Nagisa’s form and reached his hand around to rest in the soft blond curls. He returned his gaze to the screen of the television with his fingers still threading through Nagisa’s hair in smooth patterns and delicate touches.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry i just had to put a 'that's what she said' in there


	8. Warmth

Nagisa listened to the gunshots and poorly-acted yells coming from the TV. Rei’s shoulder lifted and fell gently as he breathed and the swaying was soothing him to the edge of sleep. He knew he’d be woken up soon for dinner, but there was no point in stopping his mind from tipping into unconsciousness and actually really sleeping on the other’s shoulder for once. 

Rei shifted under Nagisa’s cheek and an arm snaked its way around his shoulders. Nagisa’s mind jolted awake. His teammate’s fingers found his hair and began playing with it softly. His scalp warmed where it was grazed by Rei’s fingertips and his chest tightened at the affectionate gesture. Obviously, Rei thought he was asleep – it was the same as in the train, when he kissed Nagisa’s forehead. They were gestures that were supposed to go unnoticed, secret, only for Rei’s memories. Rei’s hand came down to smooth his hair against his palm again. Seeking the touch out, Nagisa leaned his head away from the other boy’s shoulder and into his hand. Rei inhaled sharply and his hand jerked away. His back stiffened and Nagisa could hear him struggling to get any words out at the realization that Nagisa had been awake the entire time. 

The blond smiled, his eyes still closed and his forehead supported on Rei’s shoulder. He didn’t want to play games anymore.

„I like it when you play with my hair, Rei-chan,“ he mumbled quietly, but strongly, to make sure his intentions got across. He felt Rei give a short nod and then the hand was in his hair again. Nagisa kept his eyes closed and let his body lean more into Rei’s warm side. Neither of the two was paying any attention to the images on the screen or the sounds coming out of the speakers. The background noise could have been completely unfit for the situation they were in and neither would have known. They stayed like that – Rei playing with blond curls and Nagisa gently nuzzling the other’s shoulder. 

Feeling a bit more confident and impatient, Nagisa waited until Rei’s fingers were coming down to smooth a strand of hair falling softly against his temple. The smaller boy shifted his head so Rei’s fingers brushed against his cheek. He stayed still as Rei’s hand moved away. His heart was surprisingly calm. Maybe it was because he already knew Rei wasn’t going to reject him or perhaps it was just one of those moments when Rei kept him uncharacteristically peaceful.

Rei moved his hand back to softly trace his fingertips against Nagisa’s cheek. The short blond smiled warmly as the touch returned time and time again, having forgotten about his hair in favour of his skin. 

Seconds felt like lifetimes to Nagisa. He was painfully aware of all the changes in Rei’s body. The arm around his shoulder became more confident and tightened around him in a proper embrace, and those long fingers went from barely grazing the smaller’s cheekbones to following the curve of his jaw and smoothing down his temple and brushing loose strands of hair behind his cheek. The room felt like it was a thousand degrees but Nagisa couldn’t help but seek out more and more physical contact. His patience was wearing thin very quickly.

Nagisa inhaled slowly and deeply. He lifted his head off Rei’s shoulder just enough to turn to face him. The blue-haired boy’s hand drifted down to right beneath Nagisa’s shoulder blades. Their faces were impossibly close. Nagisa kept his eyes glued to Rei’s lips, which parted gently at the turn of events. Their faces drifted together in mutual understanding, their breaths intertwining between them as the gap grew smaller and their eyes drew closed. This was it. This was happening. Nagisa’s mind blanked and he let his body feel.

A sharp knock on the door had the two boys jumping apart as if they were suddenly on fire (which Nagisa felt like he might actually be, though whether the flames were burning with shock or disappointment, he couldn’t tell). 

„Yes!“ Rei called out, trying to regain his composure by covering his blushing face with his signature excuse of fixing his glasses. 

„Rei! Nagisa-kun! Dinner’s ready!“

Nagisa never thought he would be disappointed by the announcement of food.


	9. I Trust You

Nagisa seemed perfectly normal at the dinner table, chatting idly with Rei’s parents and undoubtedly melting their hearts as he always did. Rei, on the other hand, was having a really difficult time focusing on anything other than not dropping his chopsticks and not spraying rice all over the table everytime he heard Nagisa’s voice. It was just his luck that they were interrupted at such a crucial moment – a moment Rei had been preparing for since he started middle school and his classmates started having their first kisses. He’d been kissed before, but it was always awkward pecks in empty classrooms from girls he wasn’t all that interested in and who were eager enough to not seem to mind when he stood still as a log and didn’t reciprocate any of the affection. 

But this was Nagisa. This was someone who Rei truly honestly wanted to kiss (and not only that, though Rei wasn’t so proud to admit it to himself) and who he wanted to really make an effort for. Countless nights of research on kissing technique and what were the most romantic lines to use on a significant other and what the most sensitive spots on the human body were (except the rather obvious ones)... Rei didn’t just research it, oh no, Rei had it all imprinted in his brain, he could recite it word for word if he was brain dead. Everything was going to be perfect. There was, of course, the interruption which he could only thank himself for. He should have thought it all through – he knew dinner was going to be ready soon, so even if they had managed to kiss, they would only have had a couple minutes before they would have to go downstairs. Maybe he owed his mother one, after all.

The boy was pulled out of his thoughts by the sensation of a socked foot nudging his calf under the table. He looked up, but Nagisa was obviously putting on a show for him – the blond was running gentle lines up his pant leg while still chatting animatedly with his parents. Rei tried to shift in his seat so as to prevent Nagisa from reaching him, but the blond hooked his foot around the back of Rei’s knee. Wrestling his appendage out of the other’s grasp would attract his parent’s attention. Rei glared at his friend, sitting across the table from him and exhibiting excellent multi-tasking abilities. All his responses were natural and fluent, as if his mind wasn’t actually intent on messing with Rei. It’s probably like second nature to him by now, Rei thought.

Suddenly, the foot moved from the back of his knee to his inner thigh, tracing a line along the hem of his pants towards some more sensitive regions. Rei jolted as he felt a prickly heat beginning to rise in his abdomen and his face seemed to be melting off for all the heat it was radiating.

„Rei?“ his father questioned with concern, „Are you okay? What’s wrong?“

„Aaaaah, that’s my bad, Rei-chan! I must have kicked you under the table by accident!“

Rei’s gaze shifted from his father’s face to Nagisa’s, and... Nagisa was giving his cutest, rosiest and most innocent smile. Rei almost cursed the other boy in his thoughts but stopped himself at the last moment when he realized he didn’t even feel any actual irritation at Nagisa’s mischievious behaviour, rather he felt aggravated at being teased mercilessly in a situation where he couldn’t do anything about it. He cleared his throat. 

„That’s all right, Nagisa-kun. Are you done?“

They thanked his parents for the meal and began clearing the table. Rei sifted through his thoughts and feelings and found that his hands weren’t shaking with nerves at what was going to happen when they got back to his room, but with excitement. He knew Nagisa. He trusted Nagisa. Nagisa had seen him at his best, but also at his absolute worst. Even if the kiss turned out to be horrendous, Nagisa didn’t judge him for nearly getting himself and Makoto killed thanks to his stupid pride, and, sure, he laughed for a week after Rei tried to dive into his desk in the middle of class, but it was a friendly kind of laughter. For once in his life Rei found he didn’t feel at all insecure for what was going to come and how he was going to do it and if it would be good enough, he was simply excited to experience it himself. He mentally added that to the list of ways Nagisa made his life better.

After they had finished clearing everything up, he turned to Nagisa, who was already trying to escape out the kitchen and to Rei’s bedroom. 

„What sweets would you like, Nagisa-kun?“

Nagisa looked at him with an absent gaze, like he couldn’t even begin to comprehend the question. „Sweets?“

„Yes“ Rei flicked his forehead gently. „You said you wanted sweets after dinner, remember?“

Realization flooded over the blond’s face and he began waving his hands in front of his torso enthusiastically, „Aaaaah yes! Noo, I’m fine, Rei-chan, I had sooo much cake!“

Rei smiled warmly at his shorter friend and started heading to his bedroom door. „All right, should we continue the movie then?“

Nagisa jogged after him and slipped through the door, on his way to returning to their seating arrangement against the bed. Rei closed the door behind them quickly and caught Nagisa’s hand in his own before the boy could escape out of reach. He pulled him back and around so they were face to face. Nagisa was quiet, but his eyes were wide and glistening with excitement and a strand of blond hair was resting against the bridge of his nose. Rei lifted the hand that wasn’t encasing Nagisa’s and brushed the gentle curl aside, letting his fingers drift downwards until they were resting snugly against the junction between Nagisa’s neck and his cheek. Magenta eyes skipped around Rei’s face with apparent preference for his eyes and mouth, which was getting closer to his own. Rei leaned down slowly, using his hand to tilt the other’s face just right for them to fit together, but stopped just as their lips were about to touch. He nudged the smaller’s boy’s nose with his own and heard his breath hitch in an adorable gasp. He curled some blond hair around his fingers and let his face fall forward that last tiny bit so their lips pressed together in exactly the way Rei had planned.


	10. Questions

They pulled apart slowly, with Rei’s hand still cradling Nagisa’s head and his fingers in the soft blond locks. Nagisa opened his eyes and lifted them to look into Rei’s violet ones, watching him closely, intoxicated. The shorter boy felt like he was physically being drawn more into Rei’s strong arms, against his chest and back into his warm lips. He’s had a glimpse of exactly what he had been dreaming about for months, since soon after Rei joined the swim club, and now he couldn’t let go of the feeling. He slipped his hand out of Rei’s and brought both arms up to tangle them around Rei’s neck possessively. He practically hung off of him, his body pressing, fighting for as much physical contact as he could get while clothed, and he caught Rei’s lips back into his own. 

The last kiss was sweet, gentle, soft, more a promise and a question than any mark of belonging to each other, but now they were struggling to feel everything they possibly could. Their lips were moulded together and slipping, moving, adjusting into every possible shape they could take against each other. It was wetter and more desperate and Nagisa wanted more but he didn’t know how to ask for it. Maybe Rei sensed what his partner was searching for or maybe his own desires mirrored the blond’s, because he encased Nagisa’s lower lip between his and sucked, sliding his tongue over the soft skin, providing a cool rush and a soothing dampness to ease the tingling. His teeth draped slowly over the sensitive flesh as he pulled back, but before he could even catch his breath, Nagisa was returning the favour with even more vigour and urgency. They continued like this, pushing further, stumbling into each other, hands roaming, smoothing down material, occasionally getting a glimpse of skin. Nagisa was following Rei, entrusting everything to him in that moment. He had no experience in this kind of thing and Rei seemed confident enough, showing him along, steadily trying new things. When Rei pulled back a little Nagisa tried to follow him and felt warm breath gliding over his wet swollen lips. The blond’s heart skipped a beat at the realization that Rei’s mouth was hanging a bit open but was not retreating – he was waiting. 

Nagisa let his lips fall apart slightly and relaxed his jaw, but otherwise did not move of his own accord. He waited as Rei’s mouth moved closer again and their lips leaned against each other slightly, but nothing more. There was a hand on Nagisa’s hip and its grip tightened slightly, fingertips digging into the material of his shirt, and another hand in his hair. Rei nudged the other’s nose lightly with the side of his own, like he had before they kissed for the first time ten minutes earlier, and Nagisa took a guess at what he meant. He shyly lifted his tongue away from his bottom teeth and slipped it out slightly. He gasped and shivered as he felt Rei’s tongue meeting his halfway and the silky warmth of it had him fisting the taller boy’s shirt until his knuckles paled. A switch flipped somewhere inside him and suddenly he was so so hungry for this feeling. He latched onto Rei and all shyness and hesitation were gone – he was literally climbing onto the other boy, nearly suffocating him, enforcing a fast, hot pace. He heard himself moan and suddenly he was boiling in his clothes and getting light-headed from the lack of air, but the last thing he wanted to do was stop.

Rei’s hands slipped around to his shoulders and pushed him away firmly, holding him down just far enough for them to breathe normally and be able to look into each other’s eyes. They both looked destroyed, with messed up hair and their breathing fast and erratic. Rei was completely flushed, with red splotching down into his collar, but he was smiling softly, looking at Nagisa’s face. 

„N-Nagisa-kun,“ he stuttered, breathless, „maybe we should slow down a little?“  
There was no complaint in his voice and Nagisa was relieved to hear it. He would have hated to make Rei feel uncomfortable for the sake of his own satisfaction (not that he was anywhere near sated emotionally, though his body was shaking and his tongue incapable of forming any words). 

„Let’s sit down.“

Nagisa stumbled over to Rei’s bed, his lightheadedness slowly passing. „I’m sorry,“ he managed with an embarassed smile, meeting Rei’s gaze from under his fringe, but the other just shook his head with a smile and reached out to ruffle his hair. 

„I didn’t mean to push you or anything, Rei-chan, I kind of lost it there and I should have considered your feelings before my own, I know you’re not really touchy feely.“ The blond boy crossed his legs in front of him and Rei did the same, so they were sitting facing each other. Nagisa was happy to find there was no awkwardness in the air, no discomfort and no confusion – they were both on the same page. 

Rei hummed softly in thought, picking distractedly at his bedding. He considered what Nagisa had said for a bit before replying a little shyly, „It wasn’t so much an affection thing right now, more of a ‚our brains need a constant supply of oxygen’ thing... And as for being ‚touchy feely’, as you put it, I’m not exactly opposed to it.“

Nagisa leaned forward in surprise. Rei-chan not opposed to physical affection in Nagisa’s kind of dosage? Now this was a first. Rei caught the bewildered look he was getting and gave a somewhat cheeky grin. „What’s the matter, Nagisa-kun? You couldn’t really think that if I hated it I would have let you invade my personal space as much as you have! To be honest it did make me uncomfortable at first, very much so, but I grew fond of you and then... you know... a bit more than that, and I found I really didn’t mind as long as it was you.“

The blond leaned forward to plant an enthusiastic kiss onto Rei’s cheek. „Soooo does that mean I can hug Rei-chan even more now?“ he questioned with a wide grin plastered onto his face. Suddenly, he froze in shock and just as Rei was about to ask what was wrong, Nagisa lunged forward enough to rest his palms on Rei’s knees and stare him right in the eye from a distance that was a bit less than comfortable. „Rei-chan, does that mean that you’ll hug me???“

The blue-haired boy recoiled a little in confusion. „I always hug you, Nagisa-kun“ he argued but was met with an impatient shake of the other’s head. „Noo, Rei-chan hugs me BACK. I’m asking if YOU are going to hug ME.“

„Are you... asking if I’m going to initiate hugs? Is that what you’re asking?“

„Well if we’re using fancy words, then yes, I am asking if you’ll initiate.“

„Yes... Maybe not in public though, but otherwise yes.“

„And kisses? Will Rei-chan initiate kisses?“

„I would like to remind you, Nagisa-kun, that I was the one who initiated our kiss today so really, your question is quite offensive.“

„Hand-holding?“

„I guess that’s okay...“

„Cuddles?“

„You mean hugging?“

Nagisa rolled his eyes theatrically like he was dealing with an infant. „No, dummy, cuddles. You know, lying together in bed holding each other and kissing a bit and talking but in bed and lying down. Together.“

„As long as there are clothes involved.“

„Does taking clothes off count as them being involved?“

„As long as there are clothes.“

„In the closet.“

„On our bodies.“

Nagisa huffed, but he wasn’t at all irritated. He was really pleased to see that nothing had changed really – they still messed around and he still teased Rei and Rei still pretended to be annoyed when secretly he loved every second of it. He thought back to their kiss and pictured being able to do that almost every day. It was like a dream come true. There was an ache in his gut, however, and it was pressing his mind in a less than pleasant direction.

„Rei-chan?“

Rei hummed.

„That kiss was incredible.“

The taller boy flushed a little and reached up to fix his glasses. „I thought so too.“

Nagisa leaned back to support his body on his hands and looked out of the window behind Rei’s back, smiling softly to try to cover up his unrest. „Wow. Rei-chan must have kissed a lot of people before, huh? Never knew you were so popular!“

There was silence for a little bit and the blond let his eyes slide closed. He waited but all he got was Rei flicking him in the forehead a little harshly. He opened his eyes and looked at the other in shock, only to see him displaying a pearly cocky grin. 

„What?“ Nagisa questioned, not knowing how to react to this turn of events. Rei shrugged but his smile didn’t falter.  
„It’s just... I haven’t ever done that before. I haven’t ever done any of this before, so... it’s a real compliment that you assumed I had.“ 

Something fluttered in Nagisa’s chest and he didn’t even attempt to stop the smile that split his face. „I’m really happy we get to be each other’s firsts, Rei-chan!“

The butterfly swimmer’s grin turned into a warm smile. „Me too, Nagisa-kun.“

There was a comfortable silence for a while. Rei returned to picking at the duvet and Nagisa watched him. Both were trying to think of anything else they wanted to ask to help them clarify this shift that started only a few hours prior. 

„So is Rei-chan gay?“

Rei’s hand stilled and his eyes lifted to Nagisa’s face. He looked surprised and dumbfounded, but not a second later he was laughing hysterically. The small swimmer watched him and smiled at the sound of Rei’s adorably dorky laugh and waited for an explanation as to why his question was apparently so hilarious. Rei calmed down enough to half-wheeze, „That was unexpected, considering what we were occupied with less than an hour ago, Nagisa-kun... but yes, I... I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before this, I know it’s typically frowned upon in Japan and I didn’t want to make things uncomfortable for you or Makoto-senpai or Haruka-senpai.“

„So your parents don’t know either?“

Rei shook his head. „How about you?“

„Well I’ve liked girls before, so I’m bi, I guess. And my parents don’t know either, but there was a time when one of my sisters was hanging out with this girl everyday and was always talking about her and so my parents thought maybe they were together and they talked about it and didn’t seem to mind it. Turned out they were just good friends, but still I think my parents wouldn’t freak out or anything.“ Nagisa smiled at Rei in a way that he hoped reassured the other boy that there was no rush. Rei returned the gesture.

„And the team?“

The blond giggled a little. „Aaah, well, I know Mako-chan knows because I told him that I like you and I told him it was okay if he told Haru-chan but I don’t know if Rin-chan or Gou-chan know.“

Rei watched Nagisa intently but his expression was unreadable. Considering how this was Rei-chan, who was the complete opposite of Haru-chan when it came to being able to tell what he’s feeling, Nagisa guessed he himself doesn’t even know what his emotions were. 

„You told Makoto-senpai you liked me? When was this? If I may ask, of course!“

Nagisa patted Rei’s hand affectionately and shrugged a little. „Well, I first told him I liked you like half a year ago,“ Rei spluttered violently, „and then I talked to him about it a bit more a couple weeks ago.“

Rei regained his composure enough to squawk, „Half a year ago!?“ Nagisa nodded sweetly not at all embarassed to admit how long he’s liked Rei for. The boy in question watched him in awe for a while longer before saying in a calmer manner, „Why didn’t you say something sooner?“

„Hmmm, well technically I haven’t said anything yet.“

„I’m sorry, Nagisa-kun, I don’t think I understand.“

The blond boy smiled happily and crawled forward to give Rei a gentle kiss on the lips. He stayed like that for some time, but there was no urgency and Rei wrapped his fingers around Nagisa’s forearms to stroke the skin delicately until they pulled apart enough to properly look at each other. 

„I really like you, Rei-chan,“ Nagisa said quietly, looking into Rei’s eyes. The blue-haired teen seemed to realize what the other had meant and he smiled back fondly. „I really like you too, Nagisa-kun,“ he responded and gave Nagisa a kiss on the cheek before he could pull back. The two sat back and smiled giddily at each other before giggling a little at themselves. They decided to continue the movie and see if they can understand any of it considering how they had missed the entire beginning and settled back on the floor. Nagisa was sitting between Rei’s thighs and leaning back into his chest and the taller had his arms around Nagisa’s waist. They actually managed to focus on the movie for a while, before Rei broke the silence.

„I don’t mind telling the team and Rin-san, but I think I’d like to take some time to think about how to tell my parents, if you don’t mind?“

Nagisa turned his head to kiss Rei on the chin and then pulled the strong arms around his waist tighter. „Of course, Rei-chan! Anything for you!“

Rei rested his chin on top of the blond head and sighed, content.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i haven't made out with anyone in months and it's making me really sad so yes i got carried away on the making out scene okay leave me alone
> 
> let me knoooow what you think i'm reallllyy happy with this chapter but if you have any comments on how i could improve for future chapters feel free to say something!!!


	11. Boyfriends

The movie had finished but they stayed sitting on the floor together, enjoying each other’s presence. Rei was playing with Nagisa’s hair again and the blond was running his fingers over the other’s forearms. They stayed like that, thinking and slowly beginning to realize that that entire evening had, in fact, been real. Nagisa gave a little hum to draw Rei’s attention before tilting his head towards him a bit more and asking in a small voice, „Do I ever make you feel uncomfortable, Rei-chan?“

Rei’s hand stilled and he shifted to be able to half-face Nagisa and look him in the eye. They had already covered the question of comfort and physical affection, but Nagisa wasn’t the kind of person to seek out unnecessary drama. „We already discussed this, haven’t we?“

The blond smiled sheepishly. „Ahh, well yeah, but I mean... do you ever get tired of me? And like, do you ever feel like I’m too clingy?“ 

The blue-haired boy smiled down at the smaller blond sitting between his thighs and countered, „Well I haven’t had a lot of time to test that, have I? But I wouldn’t say I’m ever tired of you, more... tired BY you, I guess. But it’s not a bad thing, I promise! It’s a nice kind of tired.“ 

The blond smiled and leaned his temple against Rei’s collarbone, but Rei could tell something was still bothering him. He was smiling in that way he did when he didn’t want to bother his friends with what was eating away at him. 

„What’s wrong, Nagisa-kun? And don’t try to tell me that you’re fine because I can tell you’re not.“ Nagisa lifted his head to look at the taller, his look of mild shock quickly morphing into a gentle, if not slightly nervous, smile. „It’s really nothing to worry about, Rei-chan... It’s nothing bad, I swear!“ 

Rei recognized Nagisa’s defences as they were being put up but he wasn’t having any of it. This whole evening meant they were together, right? It was his responsibility, now more than ever, to make sure his partner didn’t have anything bothering him, whether it was bad or not. He frowned a little to show Nagisa that he was serious and couldn’t be brushed off so easily.

„Nagisa-kun, if something was bothering me, would you just ignore it?“ The blond shook his head, looking slightly ashamed. „I’m your boyfriend, so you can trust me with anything and don’t have to worry about burdening me, you know that, right?“

Nagisa’s eyes sparkled happily. „Rei-chan, you called yourself my boyfriend!“ 

The younger boy watched the blond as he seemed to process his argument and then prepare himself. Nagisa was more nervous than Rei had ever seen him. 

„Um, well“ he began, „as you already know, I’ve liked you for a really really long time...“ Rei nodded in encouragement to continue. „and, well...“ 

He seemed to find some more motivation and courage because he inhaled deeply and turned to face Rei in a rather compromising position, with his legs wrapped around Rei’s waist. His small hands gripped the fabric of Rei’s shirt tightly and he dropped his eyes to his boyfriend’s collar. 

„I know we literally JUST started going out and the last thing I want to do is suffocate you or burden you or make you uncomf-„

„Nagisa-kun...“

„Sorry. I just...“ his voice got quieter as his face flushed a light pink. „I love you, Rei-chan.“ he managed. Rei’s heart clenched tightly in his chest and his lungs stopped working momentarily. „I don’t expect you to say it back! Please don’t feel like you have to, ever, I just... I wanted you to know.“

They fell silent again. Rei rested his hands on Nagisa’s lower thighs and breathed out deeply through his nose. He’d never been in love, so how on earth was he supposed to know if he was now? It was quite a stupid system, now that he thought about it, because technically you could never experience love and only think you did. He brushed that rather depressing thought away and focused once more on the issue at hand. Nagisa loved him. The thought made him ecstatic. Nagisa, charming, adorable, bubbly, caring Nagisa loved him, serious, nerdy, boring Rei. He felt a whole new level of special. And Nagisa had even said he didn’t need to say it back just now, so what was the problem?

Rei leaned forward and ducked down to kiss Nagisa on the lips. When they parted, the blond watched him intently, awaiting a response, so the blue-haired boy smiled warmly. „I’m so so happy, Nagisa-kun. Truly. I don’t think I’m ready to say it back yet, but I don’t doubt that one day I will be.“ 

Nagisa kissed him again and again, small smooches on his lips and cheeks and slender fingers stretching the front of his shirt. Then he pulled back, and started, „Rei-chan, I’m going to study really really hard from now on, because I know you’ll get into an amazing university so if I stop being lazy then maybe I can get in too and then we can go and study together!“ 

Rei’s entire body contracted at the sweetness of Nagisa’s declaration and he couldn’t help but chuckle quietly. His hands reached out on instinct to grab his boyfriend’s and he pulled him a bit roughly into his broader chest. Rei held him tightly and kissed the crown of his head. „Thank you.“

They pulled away again, both grinning widely and still reaching out for each other. Rei kissed him again shortly. „It’s getting late. How about we go to bed now and tomorrow I’ll take you out for ice cream?“

Nagisa absolutely beamed. „For our first date?“

„Of course!“

„Rei-chan, you’re already the best boyfriend ever!“

„If buying you ice cream is all it takes then it’s really not so difficult to achieve.“

Nagisa bit his shoulder playfully and stood up to go get his pyjamas from his sports bag. He stopped in his tracks and turned to face Rei with a mischievious smile. 

„Rei-chan, we’re boyfriends now, so I’m sleeping with you in your bed, right?“


	12. You Look Best Like This

Nagisa woke up with the sun shining in through the window and warming his cheek gently. He shifted around on the futon for a couple minutes until his eyes weren’t glued shut anymore and his mind was clear enough to process his surroundings.

He had slept on the futon after Rei insisted that sleeping together on the bed would be too risky if his parents decided to come wake them up in the morning or needed something at some point in the night – a mere excuse, Nagisa knew. The last thing he wanted to do was push Rei, so he wasn’t too disappointed when they went to sleep seperately. 

Nagisa sat up and peeked into Rei’s bed. The taller boy was still asleep, lying on his back and breathing in slow deep huffs. His hair was messed up beyond belief, navy strands sticking up all over the place, but Nagisa was sure his looked no better. He found Rei’s bedhead impossibly cute, maybe because the boy was so obsessed with beautiful things and always looking his best he didn’t realize that at moments like this, with his arms spread out to the sides and his shirt creased over his stomach, he looked absolutely gorgeous. The blond smiled and lifted himself up onto the bed. He softly crawled up until he was kneeling next to Rei’s torso and, careful not to wake his boyfriend, he placed his fingers on Rei’s eyebrows and pushed them up his forehead. 

Rei opened his eyes slowly and gave a throaty groan at being woken up. Nagisa waggled Rei’s eyebrows a little, all the while smiling brightly down at the barely conscious swimmer. Purple eyes focused enough to recognize the small blond and suddenly strong arms were trapping Nagisa and pulling him down onto the bed and into Rei’s chest. Rei rested his chin on the crown of Nagisa’s head. 

„Morning“ he grumbled sleepily. Nagisa tried to reply but it was muffled by the fabric of the other’s t-shirt. He wriggled around a bit to try and loosen Rei’s arms but the taller, and evidently stronger, boy was apparently determined not to let his boyfriend escape. Nagisa giggled and lifted his head enough to be able to speak comprehensibly, „Rei-chaaaan, I can’t move!“

„Why would you wanna move?“

Rei’s voice was husky and slurred from sleep and his eyes were closed. Nagisa thrashed around as much as he could to try and wake the other up more. He groaned in his struggles and the arms around him relaxed a little, but not enough to let him move too far away. Nagisa threw an arm over Rei’s side and moved up a little to bite lightly at his neck. The only response was another groan that sounded slightly like a complaint. 

„Rei-chan, you’re very cuddly in the mornings, aren’t you?“ 

Rei kissed his forehead in response. Nagisa smiled and pressed himself tightly to his boyfriend’s chest. They stayed like that for around twenty minutes, during which Rei had time to wake up a little bit more, but his hold on Nagisa didn’t loosen. The small blond made sure to take advantage of his boyfriend’s affectionate mood for as long as it lasted, until his stomach made an ungodly sound in a demand for breakfast. Rei chuckled.

„We should go eat breakfast, Nagisa-kun.“

Nagisa moaned in disappointment and threw a leg over Rei’s waist to signal that he had no intention of moving. 

„Nagisa-kun? It’s not like you to not want food,“ the blue-haired boy commented in amusement, and attempted to extract himself from his boyfriend’s trap, but he found that now he was the one who was being held down. The blond devil was stronger than he looked. Nagisa gave another pathetic moan. „Nagisa-kun?“

„I wanna keep cuddling.“

Nagisa felt Rei attempting to shift in the bed again but he held on tightly. The taller lifted himself up onto his hands and knees but Nagisa remained glued to his torso. Rei sat back onto his heels and ran a soothing hand through the breaststroke swimmer’s hair and down to stroke over his shoulder blades. 

„Rei-chan’s cuddly in the mornings and if we go eat then afterwards we won’t cuddle anymore“ he confessed into the muscular shoulder he was nuzzling (and drooling onto slightly). Rei hugged him tightly enough to squeeze the air out of his lungs for a moment before shifting back into a gentle embrace. He turned his head to talk softly into Nagisa’s ear. 

„Let’s eat and wash and then we’ll cuddle for a bit before we leave for our date, okay? I promise.“

Nagisa released his grip and kissed Rei on the cheek in agreement.


	13. One of the Things I Love About You

Rei entered his room, towelling his hair dry. His eyes immediately drifted to his bed, or rather Nagisa, who was splayed out on his bed, head turned to face him. As soon as the door closed behind the taller boy, Nagisa’s face twisted into a huge grin and his arm swung out, inviting Rei to him. The boy had promised to cuddle after they both got washed up, after all. Rei sighed, but he couldn’t help smiling a bit at the sight of the adorable blond waiting for him so impatiently.

He approached the bed, dropping his towel onto his chair along the way, and as he got closer and he could see more clearly with his lack of glasses, he realized that the shirt Nagisa was wearing was strangely familiar. 

„It’s a little loose on you, Nagisa-kun,“ he said, climbing into the bed and falling softly to loom over Nagisa, resting on his elbows on either side of the mop of blond hair. Nagisa’s arms wrapped around his upper body in a comfortable embrace. The shirt was slipping off one of his shoulders even though he was lying on his back and most of his collar bones were visible – a sight that Rei found extremely alluring. 

„I like it. It smells like Rei-chan!“

Rei crinkled his nose a little. „Don’t you think that’s a little creepy, Nagisa-kun? Smelling my clothes?“ 

The blond hummed a little and lifted his head off the bed to hover an inch below Rei’s. „It’s not my fault you smell so good.“

Rei’s lungs nearly exploded as he inhaled violently and his face flooded over in a flush. „N-Nagisa-kun, don’t say things like that!“

Nagisa had the nerve to giggle sweetly at him before lifting up just enough to kiss him chastely on the lips. The navy-haired swimmer slowly regained his composure and dipped down to kiss his boyfriend properly, slowly. His hand slipped down to trace his fingertips delicately over Nagisa’s exposed collar bones and the blond visibly shivered at the touch. They broke apart and Rei quietly admitted, „it looks good on you“ before shifting them so they were both on their sides. Nagisa buried his face in Rei’s shirt, just like earlier that morning, and the younger boy carded his fingers through the other’s soft hair. Nagisa’s hair was thick, though the overall arrangement fell more in the floofy spectrum. The strands fell over his scalp haphazardly, but few stuck out at odd angles. Rei found that playing with Nagisa’s hair was soothing to him, and before he knew it almost twenty minutes had passed.

Nagisa had been quiet the whole time, but Rei had assumed he had been asleep. He pressed a kiss to his forehead and shook him gently by the shoulder, but the blond lifted his head to look at Rei with eyes that were very much awake. 

„Nagisa-kun? Is something wrong?“

The blond’s expression turned confused. „No, why?“

„You’re quiet.“

Nagisa shifted upwards on the bed so his face was lying on the pillow right in front of Rei’s. He slid their hands together and intertwined their fingers, his lips softening into an effortless, honest smile. „Nothing’s wrong, Rei-chan. I just really like it when you play with my hair because it makes me feel calm, so I didn’t want to say anything and ruin that. I don’t really mind being quiet when I’m with you, it’s one of the things I love about you.“ Rei squeezed his hand as soon as that one word left his lips and rolled onto him to pin him down to the bed. Hearing Nagisa say things like that, so openly and easily, like they were perfectly obvious, made Rei’s breath catch in his throat and his ribcage become uncomfortably tight around his heart. He pressed their lips together in a slow but sloppy kiss, and even though it was something he would normally consider to be the opposite of beautiful, he couldn’t help but feel perfectly content with where they were and how they were. The sensation of their tongues leaning against each other was warm and fulfilling, and the pressure of small palms against his sides and back made him feel grounded and confident. 

Rei pulled back to look into Nagisa’s eyes, heavy lidded from their kiss. He smiled warmly and moved to run the back of his index finger down the blond’s warm cheek. „Should we get going then?“

Nagisa lunged up to kiss him hard on the lips before slipping out of the bed at an impressive speed. Before Rei managed to get up and put on his glasses, he was bounding to the front door, Rei’s shirt slipping off his shoulder and a triumphant cry of „ice cream!“ echoing through the hall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nagisa in Rei's shirt it had to happen
> 
> this chapter was a lil short buuuttt the next one will be muuuuch longer and a bit angsty oooohhhh what could it beeeee ehehehhe


	14. Watch and Learn From Us

Three hours after they left Rei’s house, they were wandering through the zoo. Their date had started off with ice cream, as planned, but then they passed a store Nagisa wanted to go into and then another one, and then another in which he saw a penguin plushie, which led to him begging Rei to go to the zoo. After much persuasion and arguing that it was still a date if Nagisa paid for himself, the boy agreed.

It was Nagisa’s dream date, even with Rei’s rambling about all the different animals and evolution and animal experimentation and genetics. Nagisa loved to look at animals and their movements, and with Rei’s steady voice guiding them along he felt like he was the luckiest person in the world.

They were just walking through the bird parlour when Nagisa saw a beautiful brightly coloured parrot. He reached out and grabbed Rei’s hand, tugging gently, and pointed at the bird, exclaiming „Rei-chan, what about that one?“, mostly to test Rei’s seemingly endless knowledge and tease him. Rei didn’t disappoint, as he never really did, but his detailed explanation was cut short by a loud scoff coming from directly behind them. Nagisa turned to look around and found that many of the passersby were looking at them, some in bewilderment but some in open disgust. The scoff seemed to have come from an elderly couple who were openly watching them, as if they were the zoo’s main attraction. 

The blond felt Rei squeeze his hand and that’s when he realized why everyone was staring – in his excitement he had grabbed Rei’s hand and not let go, forgetting that they were in public. The boy’s mind blanked apart from one thought flashing through his mind – this isn’t beautiful. He tried to pull away but felt his hand immobilized by Rei’s long fingers. He looked up at Rei, expecting him to look embarassed, humiliated even, and Nagisa would not have blamed him if he had pushed him away or ended their date then and there. But Rei gave his hand another reassuring squeeze and then, without letting go, curled both their arms around the smaller boy’s frame, so that Rei’s arm was lying comfortable across his shoulders. He pulled Nagisa towards him and dipped his head down to lay a soft kiss onto his lips. The couple behind them audibly gasped and Nagisa could hear some shuffling of feet and mumbled complaints from around them, but he was too entranced by his boyfriend in that moment to really register what everyone else was doing. 

When they pulled apart, Nagisa stared dumbfounded into Rei’s beautiful violet eyes, soft with affection for the small swimmer still wrapped against him. Sensing Nagisa’s confusion, he proclaimed loudly enough for the people around them to hear, „I’m sorry, Nagisa-kun, you just looked so beautiful. Shall we continue?“

The blunet untangled the short boy from his embrace and used their still joined hands to pull him along to continue their visit. Nagisa walked blindly, still attempting to process everything that had happened, but the only thought he could really isolate out of the mass of emotions whirling inside him was ‚wow’. Rei hadn’t been embarassed or flustered at all. He wasn’t embarassed to be with Nagisa or to be seen with Nagisa, really WITH him, even though the blond was sure Rei must have found their position to be definitely not beautiful.

„Nagisa-kun?“ He was pulled out of this thoughts by the familiar soothing voice and he turned a little to face his boyfriend. His wonderful smart adorable handsome perfect boyfriend who he was falling more and more in love with every minute, his mind supplied. Out of the corner of his eye he could see people giving them looks, some of them neutral but some of them nasty, but he brushed off the feeling of being watched and focused on the concerned frowny look Rei was giving him. 

„Are you all right? I’m sorry about what happened there, but you shouldn’t let it bother you.“

Nagisa smiled up at Rei warmly. He reached his free hand in between them to encase their intertwined fingers and ran his thumb over Rei’s knuckles. „Don’t worry about me, Rei-chan! Oh, look, we’re at the souvenir store!“

Rei followed after Nagisa as he danced through the rows of shelves stacked with stuffed toys in the shapes of various animals, before locking his gaze on an enticingly floofy penguin toy the size of his head. „Ohhhh, that one!!“ he exclaimed and reached out to grab the one closest to him, but an arm longer than his own stretched out past his head and grabbed it before he could. He turned around to find Rei standing in front of him, penguin toy in hand, pulling his wallet out. „It’s on me.“ 

After several rejected protests, the magenta-eyed boy was standing next to Rei, who was paying for his gift. He accepted it with a touched smile and stopped himself from making out with Rei right in the middle of the souvenir shop. As they walked out onto the busy street he said, „Thank you, Rei-chan. And thank you for the best date ever!“

He received a smile and nod in return. Now that they were on the street they kept their hands to themselves and resorted to gently bumping their shoulders together semi-casually as they walked. They made their way back to Rei’s house at a leisurely pace, both boys growing hungrier by the minute. They had skipped out on lunch due to their excessively large breakfasts, the ice cream that Nagisa had enough of to account for a three-course sugary meal, and Rei’s mother’s promise of a large dinner when they got back. Most of their journey passed by in silence, sometimes interrupted by a quiet remark about the scenery or Nagisa humming quiet tunes absently, his mind somewhere else.

There was something so impressive and powerful and unbelievably strong about Rei. Maybe it was his confidence and boldness when he not only kissed Nagisa in front of the people obviously displeased at their affection, but also called him beautiful for everyone to hear. Nagisa didn’t know how, but somehow the tall boy had managed to put so much meaning into that one sentence. Not just that Nagisa is beautiful, but that despite what everyone else thought THEY are beautiful and what they have is beautiful. 

He looked around to see if anyone was in sight, but, now that they were finally approaching Rei’s apartment complex, they were alone, at least for a moment. He kissed Rei’s shoulder, and after looking around as well, Rei kissed Nagisa on the forehead. The blond couldn’t help but wonder how anyone could possibly think what they had was wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rei is an absolutely amazing perfect wonderful sweet boyfriend who doesn't take any bullshit 
> 
> I may have lied a little, this wasn't that angsty but oh well i have my whole life ahead of me for real life angst


	15. Wake Me Up Before You Go

The two boys returned to Rei’s place and ate dinner with his parents. The meal was larger than usual, as promised, and they returned to Rei’s bedroom feeling heavy and sated. Even Nagisa, who had a surprisingly large stomach for his small frame, collapsed onto the bed with a satisfied groan. The purple-eyed swimmer sat on the bed with his back against the wall and closed his eyes to try and ease the discomfort of feeling so unbearably full. 

He heard Nagisa shifting on the bed slightly and then his usually loud voice made its way through the room with a surprising softness and shyness. „Rei-chan, were you embarassed when those people scoffed and stared at us?“

Rei opened his eyes and peered at the blond in confusion. „Embarassed?“ he questioned.

„Yeah. Like, to be with me.“

He dropped his head back against the wall and gave the question good thought. The answer was perfectly simple and, as he had assumed, obvious, but he knew Nagisa would not be satisfied by a simple ‚no’ and interpret it as an attempt to calm him rather than an honest response. Finally, he leaned forward slightly and gave his boyfriend a sheepish smile. „It’s not us being together and holding hands that isn’t beautiful, it’s the people who look down on us for being who we are who aren’t beautiful. So no, Nagisa-kun, I was not embarassed.“

The blond gaped at him in a mixture of shock and admiration for a bit before easing back into a touched smile and relaxing his shoulders. „Do you think your parents will think so too, Rei-chan?“

Rei looked away. He honestly had no idea what to expect. His parents were the kind of people who made plans and expected to see them through, something he inherited from them when it came to schoolwork and social events, but that attitude penetrated every single aspect of their lives. They wanted Rei to graduate with good grades, go to a good university, get a good job, meet a good girl and have good children. It wasn’t a question of them being homophobic but one of them being startled by the news. He sighed and looked back at Nagisa who was watching him intently, his eyes swimming with concern. 

„I don’t know... I think eventually they probably would. But I don’t really know what to expect. We don’t really talk about feelings and so on with each other, we all value our emotional privacy so I really don’t know how they will react.“

Nagisa sat up to face Rei. He reached out and held his hands tightly to comfort him and take his mind off such pressing matters for the time being. Rei appreciated the gesture more than his small boyfriend would ever know. They leaned forward at the same time and kissed briefly before Nagisa spoke again, „Well how about we start with telling the team and then see about our parents?“

Rei smiled and kissed him again. They agreed to tell the team on Monday at afternoon practice (in case they needed the evening to adjust to the situation) and see how it went. At Nagisa’s insistence, a horror movie followed, which, as usual, ended with Nagisa begging Rei to walk down the hall with him and stand guard outside the bathroom door while he washed, and Rei insisting that the only reason he wanted Nagisa to do the same was so that they were even. Then, they laid out the futon for the blond, though this time it was directly next to Rei’s bed. Nagisa pulled his boyfriend down for a sleepy goodnight kiss and then they both laid down. Nagisa fell asleep almost instantly, and slurred mumbling filled the darkness not ten minutes later. Rei smiled to himself at the sound, and when he caught a mumbled ‚Rei-chan’, he turned to his side and hung his arm over the edge of the bed to play with Nagisa’s hair until he fell asleep. 

He was pulled out of a rather mediocre dream about rockets by the feeling of a pressure on his chest and something tickling his neck. His eyes cracked open slightly and he immediately identified the sweet smell of strawberry shampoo wafting up from a mop of messy blond hair. He dropped his arm onto Nagisa’s back and held him tightly. Slender arms wrapped around him in a poor attempt to squeeze the breath out of him and he half chuckled half groaned in response. The sound must have been ridiculous because Nagisa’s head lifted suddenly and he giggled at Rei’s tired expression. Rei was not a morning person, despite what many thought, and Nagisa was a very morning person, despite what everyone thought. He also got bored easily. And liked to mess with Rei. 

Rei’s train of thought tipped him into a semi-conscious state, which he was violently pulled out of by Nagisa lying on top of him and viciously wriggling (and in the process knocking his forehead into Rei’s chin) until Rei was more awake than he ever had been before 9 in the morning. „Fine, I’m up“ he grumbled and lifted himself onto his elbows to stop himself from falling back asleep. Nagisa didn’t roll off of him as he had expected, instead he rested his chin on Rei’s sternum and looked up at him with an overly-cheerful smile. 

„Rei-chan, you’re so cute in the mornings!“

„I’m tired in the mornings, how is that cute, Nagisa-kun.“

„Because you’re all grumbly and groany and sleepy!“

Rei shook his head. He doubted he would ever understand Nagisa’s logic. Half an hour later they managed to get out of bed. It was all Nagisa’s fault. He refused to get off of Rei and Rei’s arms got tired so he laid back down and (as he knew he would) started to drift off into sleep again. Displeased, Nagisa attempted to wake him back up and he resorted to rolling on top of the smaller boy so he was immobilised, but that only resulted in a very wide awake Rei with a red bite mark on his shoulder. 

They ate and washed, but by then Nagisa had to leave. His parents wanted him home to do some chores before the weekend was over and they wanted to spend some quality family time, which Rei understood, though he was still reluctant to let Nagisa go. They reconsulted on their plan to tell the team the next day and kissed quickly on the doorstep and then Nagisa was bounding off towards the train station.

Rei sighed. This had been the greatest weekend ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've been doing uni stuff all day so reigisa is therapeutic


	16. What Are We Gouing To Do?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The clusterfuck begins.

Makoto waited until they were walking past a narrow corridor that was empty, and then he grabbed Haru’s hand and ignored the way his heart jolted at the bold gesture as he pulled him around the corner. Haru looked at him, confused. „Makoto? Break’s almost over.“

The taller boy looked out into the main corridor to make sure no one was eavesdropping, a habit picked up from years of being friends with Nagisa. He turned to Haru and leaned in slightly. „Don’t you think Nagisa and Rei were acting kind of weird at practice this morning?“ he whispered. Haru just looked at him blankly. He sighed and tried again, „Well they were barely swimming, most of the time they were hanging around Gou and yelling.“

Something seemed to click in Haru’s mind because his eye twitched a little in agreement. „Wasn’t Nagisa talking about boys all the time?“ he supplied. Makoto nodded enthusiastically, glad to see he wasn’t the only one who found their behaviour suspicious. Not even suspicious, downright bizarre. 

„Yes, he was! He kept talking about how great boys are and then asking her what she thought about boys! I actually felt quite sorry for her, she seemed a bit lost.“

„She kept saying she likes their muscles.“

„Yeah, but we all know she does. Rei was what really freaked me out, though. What was it that he was repeating? ‚Some things unconventional are still beautiful’?

Haru nodded. He seemed to be thinking very hard about the situation. His eyebrows were furrowed slightly and his dark eyelashes contrasted enticingly with his pale skin. Makoto pinched himself discreetly in the thigh to stop himself from daydreaming about his best friend in front of said best friend.

„What’d you do that for?“

„Eh?“

„You just pinched yourself.“

„O-oh, uh, itch!“

The freestyle swimmer looked at him for a bit longer looking doubtful of his excuse and Makoto swallowed audibly. „S-so, anyway, Rei and Nagisa?“

Haru went back to thinking about the matter at hand and the other breathed an internal sigh of relief (he didn’t want to be questioned as to why he sighed, it was problematic enough that his crush was also his best friend who knew him better than anyone). 

„Maybe Gou likes girls.“

Makoto stared at his friend, dumbfounded. How on earth did he come to that conclusion?

„Um, Haru? That doesn’t make sense, Nagisa kept talking about boys, not girls.“

„They found out and Nagisa is trying to cover for her in front of us.“

Oh.

„Haru, that... Oh my god, Haru, that makes sense! That’s what Rei was talking about that’s unconventional but still beautiful! He was trying to be supportive!“

„Yes.“

„And that’s why she never seemed interested in the Mikoshiba brothers even though they are absolutely in love with her!“

„Yes.“

Makoto was struck with realization. „Oh my god, Haru, poor Gou, she must have been so uncomfortable at practice then! What if she’s upset?“

Haru watched his friend closely. „She might tell Rin.“

Makoto jolted. „Haru, we have to do something! We need to talk to them at afternoon practice, Gou said she couldn’t be there so it’s the perfect opportunity!“

„Text Rin.“

Makoto whipped his phone out of his pocket and started typing out a message to Rin, filled with ‚sorry’s and ‚don’t worry’s and ‚oh my god’s. When he was done he shoved the device back where it came from and smiled at Haru. Haru stared at him for a second before grabbing his hand and pulling him out of the corridor. Makoto spluttered and let himself be dragged along, though every neuron in his body was begging him to intertwine their fingers. „Haru, what are you doing!?“

The raven stopped and turned to look to him. He let his hand go, which was probably the right choice because people were beginning to stare and snigger. „You grabbed my hand before, so I was returning the favour.“ And with that he turned and kept walking to their next class, leaving Makoto staring after him in bewilderment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry gou


	17. We're All Idiots

Sousuke walked towards his and Rin’s dorm room. Even though it had been a teacher’s training day so they had no classes, it had been a long one and he was looking forward to taking a hot shower and just going to bed for a couple hours. After an intense practice he had gone to the common area to work on a project and he was absolutely exhuasted. He got to their room and opened the door, only to be greeted with the sight of what appeared to be a red-headed corpse lying in the middle of the floor. He stopped with his hand still on the door handle. „Rin?“

Rin’s hand was clutching his phone to his chest and his eyes were wide open. Sousuke sighed. There goes his plan of an early night. He walked in and gave the door a little push with his hand to swing it closed and made to sit on the edge of Rin’s bed. „Rin? What’s wrong?“

„Gou is gay.“ Rin spoke feebly, his eyes glued to the ceiling. Sousuke couldn’t stop his eyebrows from rising or the choked gasp that escaped his throat. Wow. This was the last thing he was expecting. „How did you...“

Rin sat up, but his expression was still one of utter shock. „Makoto texted me saying Rei and Nagisa were trying to be supportive but may have taken it a little bit too far and she might be upset but that they’d take care of it and not to worry and that they support her no matter what and that her being a lesbian doesn’t change anything in their relationship.“

Sousuke nodded. „It actually makes sense.“

„I know, right? How did I never see it?“

„The Mikoshiba brothers.“

„Exactly!“ 

There was a pause before Rin punched himself in the thigh feebly and exclaimed, „God I’m a fucking idiot! So are you, though, you never suspected anything and she’s pretty much your sister, too.“

The taller of the two snorted lightly.

 

Nitori leaned his head back against the wall and tried to process what had just happened. He knew eavesdropping, and especially on two of his senpai’s and one being his captain, was not the smartest thing to do, but it was hard not to when the door was cracked open just enough for him to overhear their conversation. And some conversation they had. 

He pushed himself up and started to head back to his room. Where Momo was. Momo who was madly in love with Gou. Who was gay. Nitori swallowed the nervous lump in his throat. His conscience was telling him that it was his duty as a senpai to tell his room mate that the object of his affections would never like him back, but spilling something like that could leave a dent in his relationship with Rin, regardless of whether it was of the nature he wanted it to be or not. He didn’t want that at all. Though maybe Rin would understand? He was a senpai himself after all... But spilling a secret was kind of a big deal. But for the sake of his friend? Or would Momo rather not know? Would Nitori want to know if there was absolutely no hope of Rin ever liking him back? How was he supposed to know what he wanted? What if there WAS no hope of Rin liking him back? Nitori was getting a headache.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there will be more rintori do not fear my friends!!


	18. Hasty Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> idiot duo strikes again

„Nagisa-kun, are you sure you can handle the speaking?“

„Rei-chan, of course I can! Don’t worry, everything will go smoothly!“

Nagisa caught the sound of Rei sighing, but he brushed it off and continued bouncing along to the locker room. Rei was always a pessimist (or rather, as he called it, a realist, but Nagisa didn’t see what was so realistic about thinking everything was going to go wrong). He took pleasure in the fact that he was about to prove his boyfriend wrong, because everything was going to go perfectly and there would be absolutely no problems along the way. He smiled to himself.

„So do you know what you’re going to say then?“

The blond tutted, but other than that didn’t give any response. Apparently, Rei was expecting him to give some elaborate speech. He kind of just thought he’d go into the room and say ‚hey guys, guess who’s dating!’. He’d just improvise.

They reached the locker room and the blond threw an encouraging smile at Rei before swinging the door open. He was greeted with the sight of Makoto and Haru, both still dressed in their uniforms, standing in the middle of the room waiting, with their best parenty expressions. 

„Nagisa, Rei“ Makoto began, „please sit. We need to discuss something very important.“

Rei audibly jolted behind him, but Nagisa didn’t let the change in circumstance bother him. He’d hear what this was about and then announce his and Rei’s relationship. It was no problem. The two boys sat down on the bench and waited to hear what the issue was. Makoto cleared his throat and Haru glanced at the exit to the pool, but corrected himself immediately. This wasn’t good.

„So“ Makoto’s tone was more motherly than Nagisa’s mother’s, „we are both aware of the situation. Your behaviour at morning practice was rather obvious.“ Rei nearly choked on his saliva. „You both have to realize that your behaviour must have made Gou extremely uncomfortable and maybe even upset!“ Nagisa furrowed his eyebrows in confusion and Rei stopped nearly suffocating next to him. „Honestly, it’s not a big deal, and I’m certain Gou was nervous about anyone finding out and she didn’t appreciate your behaviour.“

There was a silence. Nagisa’s brain was working at top speeds trying to figure out what was going on. The two older boys must have realized that their underclassmen didn’t understand because Haru spoke up, „We know Gou is gay.“

„Gou-chan is gay?!“ they shouted in unison. There was another silence, this time longer than the first. Nagisa’s eyes skipped from Makoto’s face to Haru’s back to Makoto’s back to Haru’s, when suddenly Haru’s gaze slipped and froze on the wall straight ahead and he paled significantly. Makoto still looked painfully confused. 

„Um, well, your behaviour at morning practice? We thought... that meant Gou is... gay?“

Rei had possibly become one with the bench because he was eerily still and silent, so Nagisa took it upon himself to try and sort out the misunderstanding.

„Ahh, well, we were actually gonna tell you at this practice, that me and Rei-chan are boyfriends now!“ he smiled brightly at his childhood friends. Makoto’s face broke out in a huge grin, but Haru just looked terrified at Nagisa. 

„Oh my god, congratulations!“ Makoto laughed. Rei started moving again, much to Nagisa’s relief. He mumbled a nervous thank you and Nagisa bounced in his seat, looking expectantly at Haru. Haru shivered a little and gave a small smile, „Yeah, congratulations.“ Nagisa’s stomach gave an appreciative squeeze and he glanced at Rei, who looked satisfied, though still shocked. Poor boy, the misundersanding must have been a bit much for his pessimistic heart. Well, at least it was over now.

Haru turned to Makoto, his face having gone back to its previous terrified expression. Makoto looked at him in confusion. „Haru?“

„Makoto, did you text Rin?“

Makoto went pale.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love me a good clusterfuck


	19. Whoops

Rin was in his room writing an essay when his door was nearly thrown off the hinges by none other than Momo. The boy dove into the room and landed flat on his face on the carpet and let out a pathetic wail. Rin stared at him over his shoulder, shocked by the already impressively sized tear stain in the material, and Sousuke looked down from his bunk curiously. Nitori appeared in the doorway looking absolutely terrified. For a couple seconds the only sound in the room was Momo sobbing and hiccupping. 

„Um“ Rin started, looking at Nitori who was barely breathing and very very red in the face, „what’s going on?“

Momo lifted his head slightly only to scream „Gou-saaaan“ and then break out into more sobs and wails. Nitori shifted from foot to foot, his face changing quickly from red to almost transparent. „I-I am so sorry Rin-senpai! I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, I was walking past and I h-heard your conversation with Yamazaki-senpai about Gou-san“ Momo practically screamed in agony at the sound of her name, „and I felt bad for Momo-kun so I... told him...“

Rin groaned and lay his forehead down on his desk. He heard Sousuke climbing down from his bunk but apparently his childhood friend had no real intention of helping him because he then sat on Rin’s bed and watched the scene unfold. Momo dragged himself along the floor to grab at Rin’s ankle, shocking him into nearly kicking the red-head in the face. „R-Rin-senpai...“ he choked out. „What am I going to do?“

Rin stood up and shook Momo’s grip off. „Listen, Momo,“ he began, scaring himself with how much like his mother he sounded when he was this exasperated, „obviously Gou is never going to be interested i-„

His sentence was cut short by Momo bawling his eyes out noisily and rolling around the floor. Rin looked up at Sousuke for help only to find the bastard trying to hold in a laugh. Great, one of the only times when Sousuke actually expressed his happiness and he chose this moment. Rin tried multiple times to not even calm Momo down, but just to get him to stop crying and listen for a minute, but to no avail. Eventually he heard Sousuke calling his name and handing him his phone. The screen was blaring with Makoto’s name. Rin picked up.

„Rin?“

„Yes?“

„Um... what’s going on? Why is there someone screaming?“

„Don’t ask. What is it? I’m kind of busy.“

„Oh, it’s about earlier and um, Gou... We may have been mistaken.“

„I’m sorry, what?“ Rin really truly honest-to-God prayed that Makoto was joking.

„Well, um, we talked to Rei and Nagisa like we said we would and turns out we were wrong... about Gou...“

Rin closed his eyes. His expression must have shown his displeasure and his developing headache (especially with Momo still shredding his vocal chords in the background) because he heard Sousuke actually giggle. He made a mental note to fill his shoes with toothpaste later. 

„Makoto, explain.“

Makoto gave a nervous ‚eep’ and then coughed a couple times. „W-well, um, Nagisa and Rei were being weird and we thought it was about Gou but... well, they just told us that they got together and we just misunderstood...“

Rin gave a chuckle, half at the news and half at the ridiculousness of the situation. „Well, it’s about damn time. Congratulate the love birds from me.“

Momo screamed at the top of his lungs and curled into a shivering wailing faetus in the middle of Rin’s dorm. Sousuke burst out laughing and had to lay on Rin’s bed on his side. Nitori was still standing next to Momo, bent over, trying to calm him down. 

„Um, Rin? Are you sure you’re okay?“

He sighed again. He could feel himself aging by the minute. „Yeah, yeah. I gotta go though.“

„We’re sorry...“

„Don’t worry.“

He hung up and pressed his mobile phone to his forehead. He knelt down next to Momo and moved as close as he could without getting a black eye from one of Momo’s twitching limbs. „Momo, it was a mistake, Gou isn’t gay!“

Sousuke was barely breathing and Nitori stared at Rin, absolutely baffled. Momo was beyond hope at this point, probably delusional or having a stroke. His phone started vibrating again in his hand, but the call was from an unknown number. Rin pressed the device to his ear only to hear another person crying their eyes out on the other end. 

„Um, hello?“ he questioned nervously.

„M-Matsuoka, I h-heard ab-about Gou-kuuun!“

Rin dropped sideways onto the floor with his knees under his chin. 

„Seijuurou?“

Nitori yelped. Sousuke fell off the bed. Rin lay on the floor like a boned fish with his phone as far away from his ear as his arm could reach. Through the pathetic screaming coming from his phone and the sound of Sousuke dying and Nitori almost having a panic attack, he managed to catch Momo asking „Nitori-s-senpaiiii, how much d-does a sex change cost???“

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as u may have guessed this was my absolute favourite chapter to write and sousuke may be somewhat ooc but i just couldn't help but add him laughing his ass off in the background (since that's exactly what i would be doing in that situation)
> 
> poor momo
> 
> poor rin 
> 
> poor nitori


	20. Expectations

Rei and Nagisa were walking to the train station after a rather eventful practice. Rei was a bit worried about the way the misunderstanding had been communicated to Rin but Makoto had refused to give details of the phone call. Nagisa, of course, was as happy as ever and completely oblivious to their fault in the entire ordeal. Overall, however, Rei felt relieved. The team had been more than supportive and then life went on as normal (apart from Nagisa slapping his butt seven times throughout practice). 

„Nagisa-kun?“

The blond turned his attention to Rei and looked at him curiously. He was half skipping and his shoe laces were untied, so Rei stopped him and knelt down to tie them for him. He sighed. „Honestly, Nagisa-kun, I’m your boyfriend, not your mother!“ but the only response he got was a giddy giggle. He completed the tedious task and stood straight. They began walking again. „I think there’s no point putting off telling our parents. It’s not like waiting will change anything, right?“

Nagisa gripped his hand and swung their hands between them. „I think Rei-chan is right, as always!“ 

Rei smiled down at him. „Tonight?“

„Tonight!“

They boarded the train and agreed to let each other know the outcomes as soon as possible, and then Nagisa got off at his stop after giving Rei a wet kiss on the cheek. By the time the boy had reached his front door his phone was vibrating in his pocket, signifying a text message. 

Nagisa-kun : Rei-chan!!!!!!!! My parents didn’t mind AT ALL and were sooooo happy to hear ur my bf!!! ^^ <3 <3 

Rei smiled down at the device. Of course, Nagisa must have announced the news the second he burst through the door. The news of his boyfriend’s success boosted Rei’s morale and motivated him further. For once he was truly expecting a good outcome. Yes, his parents were traditional, but they loved him. Everything would be just fine.

His father usually returned from work around dinner time, so he decided to wait until everyone was at the table and then tell them. It seemed like the natural time. When they finally took their places and began their meal, Rei felt his stomach tightening slightly with nerves. Breathing exercises, he told himself, and maintained neutral conversation with both his parents, enquiring about their day and replying to questions about school and swimming. 

When they were nearly finished, he felt his mother’s hand on his forearm. He turned to look at her. „Rei?“ she questioned, concerned. „Are you okay? You haven’t eaten a lot.“

The boy put his chopsticks down on the table and took a deep breath. „Yeah“ he managed, „I just need to tell you something. It’s nothing bad, though!“ He lifted his eyes to those of his father, who was peering across the table at him with interest. They were his parents. There was no use hiding from them. He took another deep breath and tried for a steady voice when he said, „I’m in a relationship with someone.“

His mother gave a delighted gasp and his father chuckled with pride. His mother’s grip on his forearm tightened in a reassuring squeeze as she asked „Who is it? Is it someone we know of?“

Rei couldn’t hold back the shiver his body gave, as if an electric impulse made its way from his toes up to the tip of his head. He nodded, but his nerves must have alerted his parents that there was more. They watched him, waiting for the rest of the news. Rei’s gaze slipped down to his half-full bowl. „It’s Nagisa-kun.“

There was a silence that lasted about ten seconds at most, but to Rei it felt like in the meantime he had already died and settled into a coffin. His mother retreated her hand back into her lap and his father cleared his throat. „Well,“ Rei could hear the forced smile in his mother’s voice, „this is a bit of a surprise!“

The boy’s heart was pounding somewhere around his Adam’s apple, making it difficult to breathe. His eyes were glued to one particular grain of rice as if it was an artistic masterpiece and all sounds (as minimal as they were in the deafening silence) were heard as through a wall of glass. 

„Rei,“ his father’s voice boomed across the table, „look at me.“

The butterfly swimmer obeyed, though more out of reflex than choice. His father’s hands were clasped together on the surface of the table and his eyebrows were furrowed, though he didn’t look angry. He cleared his throat again.

„You’re our son, Rei, and we love you very much. Obviously, we want you to be happy.“ His mother made sounds of agreement. „We want to make sure you’re not making a mistake.“

The lump in his throat was stinging. It took him a couple seconds to manage to make any comprehensible sound. „I’m not“ he finally said, although weakly. There was another pregnant silence. His father’s words reassured the boy slightly. He had anticipated that his parents would be surprised and maybe even a little bit disappointed, but what he hadn’t planned ahead for was the sudden rush of emotions to contrast the lack of words to say. 

His mother spoke up eventually. „Rei, honey, like your father said, we love you and we want you to be happy, and you know we both think Nagisa-kun is a wonderful boy! We’re... just surprised is all. We need some time to think and to get used to this situation.“

Rei nodded. He tried to piece his feelings together into some comprehensible whole but his head was pounding and his knees felt weak and he felt nauseous and he wanted to leave. His parents noticed his shaking, and his mother offerred, „Rei? We understand if you’d like to go to a friend’s house, I think everyone needs some time to think things through... And then tomorrow we could talk again? Is that what you’d like, dear?“

The only face Rei could see in his mind was Nagisa’s. He nodded and felt honest gratitude that his parents at least knew what it was he needed. „Can I go to Nagisa-kun’s?“ 

His mother patted his knee. „Of course, Rei. Do you want us to drive you?“

Rei shook his head and stood up from the table. He started gathering his chopsticks and plates, but his father assured him they’d clean up. The boy kept his eyes down as he thanked them for the meal and rushed to his room to get his things. He felt panic crawling up his gullet, but he didn’t know what he was afraid of. He felt relief, because in the end, it wasn’t all bad, but he felt sick to his stomach and his eyes felt suspiciously dry.

He didn’t remember what he had shoved into his backpack. He didn’t go through a mental checklist of all the things he would need. For all he knew, he could have forgotten his school uniform, or his homework, or his toothbrush. He headed for the front door, passing his parents, who hadn’t moved from the table or begun cleaning the dishes. He shouted a goodbye to them and barely caught their response before he had shut the door behind him and begun making his way to Nagisa’s house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -whispers- i am sorry


	21. Are You Scared?

The doorbell rang once. „Nagisa, get that, would you?“

The blond wiped his hands with the dish towel enthusiastically and bounded happily towards the front door. He hummed a little tune as he opened it, but was stopped in his tracks by the sight of Rei. He smiled widely, but it withered immediately as he identified sheer panic on Rei’s face. He caught a glimpse of the boy’s backpack, which was stuffed to the brim with what looked like books and clothes, and immediately put two and two together. 

„Nagisa-kun, I’m sorry fo-„

„Come on.“

Nagisa reached out and grabbed Rei’s hand and pulled him inside and up the stairs to his room. Once he made sure Rei had stepped through the doorway and was putting his things down next to the desk, he stepped back out and quickly went to find his mother. He could feel his heart trying to smash its way through his ribcage, but he was running on some sort of adrenaline rush. He informed his mother that Rei would be staying for the night and his mother seemed to grasp the basis of the situation from his behaviour because she simply nodded. Nagisa made his way back to his room and found Rei standing pathetically where he had left him. He closed the door behind him.

„Rei-chan,“ Nagisa said, walking over and taking Rei’s hand in his own, „what happened? Was it your parents?“

The taller boy nodded. „I told them about us and they were just surprised like I knew they would be, but I just... I don’t know, I just needed to come here.“

Nagisa leaned up and kissed him lightly on the lips. „Let’s sit?“

They sat on the bed, their hands still pressed tightly together. Rei was looking down at the bedding and breathing deeply. Nagisa watched him quietly, trying to see if he was going to say something or if he needed a push to sort through his emotions. Eventually, he figured it was the latter, and spoke as gently as he could, „Are you scared, Rei-chan?“

Rei’s fingers tightened around his hand all of a sudden, and his violet eyes snapped shut in an attempt to stop the tears that had slipped onto his cheeks. He recoiled and turned his head away from Nagisa, but the small boy was quick. He shifted on the bed to place himself back in front of Rei and to sit as closely to him as their crossed legs allowed. „It’s okay to be scared, you know? I get scared all the time! I got scared at the zoo, and I got scared on Friday! But it’s okay, right?“ He reached up to wipe Rei’s cheeks gently. The boy relaxed at the contact and finally his breathing steadied. He sighed.

„I know it’s okay, I just... I don’t really know what I’m scared of.“

„Hmmm, well what exactly did they say?“

Rei twitched a little, and Nagisa’s heart gave a painful squeeze at the sight. „Come“ he said softly, motioning for Rei to follow him down onto the bed. Rei laid next to him, face to face, and Nagisa shifted quickly so that Rei’s head was resting on his arm and he was cradled softly into Nagisa’s chest. Two strong arms wrapped around him in acceptance and he felt hot breath fanning out over his collar bones. He felt Rei breathe in before starting to speak. „They said it was a surprise and that they love me and want me to be happy and want to make sure I’m not making a mistake and they said they think you’re a wonderful boy but they need some time to adjust.“ Rei’s words were tumbling out more and more quickly and his breaths were becoming more shallow and rapid in between words. Nagisa tightened his hold and reached up his free hand to run his fingers through Rei’s hair. He was going on what worked best for him when he needed comforting, but it seemed to work on Rei, as he calmed down again.

There was silence for a bit as Nagisa thought. He could feel the softness of Rei’s hair against his fingertips and the brush of Rei’s eyelashes against his neck as he closed his eyes. He knew Rei and he was familiar with him. Rei was always open about his emotions when it came to explaining what they were, but he never openly experienced them. He was never bare in front of Nagisa, and the boy would be lying if he said it wasn’t refreshing and in some way comforting. He was glad to see how much Rei trusted him and that he eased into the embrace he was offered. 

He was always trying so so hard. Pleasing others pleased him and he took pride in his accomplishments and in the rewards that followed. Maybe that was what scared him? Feeling like he caused trouble for his parents by being who he was? Nagisa thought back to how uncomfortable he had been to know they had caused some sort of misunderstanding between Makoto and Rin. Wasn’t that somehow similar?

„Maybe you’re scared you disappointed them and made them unhappy.“

They laid still for a moment. From the tickle of Rei’s eyelashes fluttering swiping across his skin, Nagisa knew the boy was processing his words. They stayed like that until Rei pressed his face firmly against Nagisa’s skin and gripped the back of his shirt tightly in his shaking fists. He gave a curt nod. Nagisa dropped his chin to kiss Rei’s forehead and murmured against his skin, „But they said they love you no matter what and want you to be happy! So maybe they’re just as scared to disappoint you as you are to disappoint them? Maybe they’re scared too?“

There was a growing wet patch in the front of Nagisa’s shirt, but Rei nodded again. The blond swimmer hummed softly into navy strands and smoothed them down, waiting for Rei to get all his frustration out of his system. Once he had calmed down significantly, Nagisa pressed a kiss to his forehead and then one on his cheek. „Do you wanna sleep here with me, Rei-chan?“ he questioned, and was greeted with another nod after barely two seconds of hesitation. The boy smiled warmly. 

They stayed like that for a couple more minutes and then went to get ready for bed. Nagisa kept an eye on his boyfriend to make sure he was feeling better after getting his feelings out and not just acting like it. They laid down together, Rei on his back and Nagisa draped over half his chest, with his head tucked neatly under Rei’s chin. The blond kept himself awake until after he was sure Rei had fallen asleep, and then he allowed himself to drift off into dreams. 

They woke up late the next morning and barely made it for the train, but the rush to get to school on time provided a distraction for Rei. Nagisa was glad to see he was behaving much like he usually was, except for being more affectionate towards the breaststroke swimmer. They went about their day and got through practice like this, without the others even noticing that anything was off. 

At the end of the day, when they were walking through the school gates, they were stopped by the sight of Rei’s mother standing next to her car. She spotted them and waved them both over. Nagisa noticed how Rei tensed a little, but his mother’s bright smile must have reassured him. 

„Rei, Nagisa-kun!“ she greeted cheerfully, „I thought I’d pick you up after practice! Nagisa-kun, my husband and I were wondering if you’d like to come over for dinner tonight?“

Nagisa returned her genuine smile and glanced at Rei, who nodded, a faint blush marking his cheeks. „I’d love to!“


	22. Notice Me, Kohai!

Rin was heading back to his room, stretching out his sore muscles. He loved the feeling of having finished a rigorous practice and the tight pull in his thighs and arms that accompanied it. It was a good reminder of all the effort he was putting into making his dream come true and it kept him motivated.

Since the previous day, Nitori had been responsible for calming Momo down to the point of (relative) sanity, considering his fault in the spread of the false rumour. He accepted the duty and seemed to do an impressively fair job at it, because Momo had showed up to practice that day and wasn’t leaving snot trails in the pool, though his swimming was not at its best and he seemed to still be in shock. 

Rin was rounding a corner when a head of grey hair slammed into his chest with an audible whack. Rin reached out and grabbed the shoulders of his kohai before the small swimmer could be catapulted down the hall. Nitori regained his composure somewhat and recognized what it was he had just run into. „R-Rin-senpai!! I am so sorry, I wasn’t watching where I was going!“

Rin examined Nitori face to make sure he hadn’t suffered any damage. „Don’t worry about it, Ai. I hope I didn’t hurt your face.“ Nitori felt around his nose for a moment. „Um, it seems fine. I hope I didn’t hurt your pecs.“ His eyes widened in surprise at what he had just said, but his anxiety was soothed by the sound of Rin laughing. 

Nitori was an incredibly kind soul. He was always looking out for everyone and trying to live up to expectations that no one even had, but he did it all for the sake of his friends. Rin knew he had had an impact on the small boy’s dreams and his swimming. He’d been told so by Nitori himself and Sousuke, who’s relationship with the grey-haired breaststroke swimmer was gradually improving. Rin looked down at his past roommate, but he couldn’t help but notice that the boy seemed a little jittery and nervous. Rin’s eyebrows scrunched together in concern. „Ai?“ he questioned. 

„Um,“ Nitori shifted from foot to foot, a nervous habit Rin had always found heartmelting, „I wanted to apologize for causing all the trouble with Momo... I should have kept my big mouth shut, and I’m sorry for that, Rin-senpai.“

Rin smiled and ruffled his hair. „Don’t worry about it, Ai. Besides, once Momo calms down completely, we’ll all be able to look back on this and laugh. And Sousuke probably wants to thank you for the entertainment, anyway.“ 

Nitori looked up at Rin, his eyes swimming with admiration and relief. He looked beyond grateful that he wasn’t getting in trouble and Rin couldn’t help but feel a bit warmer at the sight. He made a jerking motion with his head towards the empty corridor and they started walking back to the dorms together. They talked, first about swimming (Nitori was insisting that he hadn’t improved that much, despite recently beating the breaststroke record of the academy), but then the conversation shifted to family. Nitori knew a little about Rin’s home life and his father, but Rin was ashamed to find that everything the boy was telling him was completely new. He couldn’t help but feel guilty at the realization that he had been a terrible roommate to Ai in his second year and he now had barely any time to make up for it. 

They reached Nitori’s door sooner than Rin had expected. The smaller swimmer was surprisingly easy to talk to and Rin could feel a physical pang at the thought of having to end their conversation.

„Well, thank you again, Rin-senpai. And I’m sorry again!“ Nitori gave a sheepish smile and turned to lay his palm on the doorknob, but Rin reflexively grabbed the back of his shirt and tugged a little harshly. He startled himself with the move but was glad to see Nitori didn’t seem to have suffered any damage. He was, however, watching the redhead expectantly. 

„I, uh, I was wondering if you’re not busy, because I know you have work and stuff, if you wanted to maybe... grab something to eat from the cafeteria?“

Nitori’s face lit up like a christmas tree and he actually gave a tiny jump as he exclaimed that he would love to. Rin felt his blood heating around his heart and his cheeks felt a little warm, but he ignored it. Nitori looked unbearably cute and he was rambling about his life like there was no tomorrow. They made their way to the cafeteria and passed a couple hours talking about everything – their hometowns, why they came to Samezuka, why they swim, what their families are like, what they’re looking forward to after high school, what places they had been (focusing mainly on Australia) and finally roommates. This brought them to glancing at the clock on the wall and realizing that the cafeteria would be closing soon and it was really time to go back to their own dorms. 

Rin didn’t know why he insisted on walking Nitori to his door even though it was only seven down from Rin’s own. He didn’t know what he had been expecting. He had been on very few dates in his life but this felt a lot like a date. More so than some dates he actually had been on. A slightly awkward silence settled between them, but Nitori, bless his soul, found the courage to break it. 

„Well, goodnight then!“ and with that he stood on his tiptoes and gave Rin a soft kiss on the cheek, swiftly escaping into his room right afterwards. Rin’s face felt like it was redder than his hair. His heartbeat was exaggerated in his chest and his palms were sweating in his pockets. He was in big trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeeeeeee get it duckling1!!!


	23. Hard Work Pays Off

It was a windy Sunday morning, but not even the chilly breeze could blow the smile off Nagisa’s face. He was on his way to see his boyfriend of three weeks and he had a surprise for him.

The three weeks they had been together flew past at an unfathomable pace. They went to school together every morning, bickered throughout the day, took the train home together, did homework and hung out every weekend and sometimes on school nights too. Everything was pretty much the same way it had been before everything had begun on that fateful Friday evening, except for the little snippets in between.

All the hand-holding (which, despite his earlier claims, Rei seemed to enjoy more than he admitted), all of Nagisa’s less-than-appropriate comments, the short chaste kisses snuck in between classes when no one was looking and the increasingly heated make out sessions on Rei’s bed. Everything felt so perfectly natural from the getgo and even though the blunet still sometimes gave him butterflies in his stomach, there was no nervousness and there were no awkward pauses. Nagisa already knew before how quickly Rei could adapt and how quickly he could change and improve, but over those three weeks he had seen him grow comfortable not only with his blond boyfriend, but also with himself. He’d started laughing at himself more and he’d become more confident. If before he’d been a rock in Nagisa’s life, now he was a mountain. 

His easily adaptable nature was something he undoubtedly inherited from his parents. When Nagisa had been invited to Rei’s house for dinner by his mother one day after the Ryugazakis had found out their son was gay and dating his best friend, the blond had anticipated some discomfort towards him, but was surprised (as was Rei) to find that he was welcomed into their home as he always had been. Rei’s mother had bought strawberry shortcake as she always did for him. Rei’s father congratulated them on their relationship and joked about how honestly, they should have noticed something. Conversation then shifted back to the usual topics, but Rei’s parents smiled warmly whenever Nagisa glanced at his boyfriend. That was three weeks ago.

As Nagisa approached the front door of Rei’s apartment, he thought about how loaded and how perfect those three weeks had been. Every single second with Rei made him fall in love harder, and the only thing he wished he could do was tell Rei how he made him feel, but Nagisa knew Rei. He knew the butterfly would feel pressured into returning the sentiment. For someone so smart he was really quite silly.

Nagisa knocked on the door and barely two seconds later purple eyes were watching him and a smooth voice was complaining, „You’re late.“

The blond stood on his tiptoes to give Rei a huge smacking kiss on the lips and then pushed his way past his boyfriend. „Ahhh, that may be so, Rei-chan, buuut I come bearing gifts!“

The taller groaned. „Nagisa-kun, why didn’t you tell me you were getting me something? I would have gotten you something too! They’re not home...“ he finished, noticing Nagisa peeking into the kitchen and living room in search of his parents. The small blond flashed him a charming grin.

„Relax, Rei-chan, it’s not that kind of gift! More like a surprise.“

„You know I hate surprises. Anyway, it’s not a surprise if you tell me about it beforehand.“

Nagisa jumped over to stand right in front of Rei, who was looking down at him. The blond threw his arms around Rei’s neck and jumped onto him, holding himself up by wrapping his legs around Rei’s slim waist. He gave his startled boyfriend a long kiss, until he could feel Rei melting into it and the hands that had been attempting to pry him off were holding him up. They stayed like that, kissing lazily in the hallway, until Nagisa judged that Rei had relaxed enough for his liking and then he pulled back, still wrapped snugly around the taller boy. „But you see, Rei-chan, this is a surprise from me, so even if you hate surprises you will love it and it will kill your grumpy mood! And don’t worry, I guarantee you will still be surprised!“

Rei watched him with heavylidded eyes, still drowsy from the kiss, but he didn’t protest when Nagisa dropped to his feet and began pulling him to his own bedroom. The short blond practically flung him through the door and immediately pulled a folded up paper out of his pocket. He straightened it out and held it out towards Rei. The navy-haired teen’s jaw literally dropped. Nagisa grinned as widely as anatomy allowed and waited for some sort of verbal response, which Rei seemed to be having serious trouble with. „Amazing, right, Rei-chan?“ he exclaimed.

„T-this is fantastic, Nagisa-kun! This must be, what, the second highest result in our math class?“

Nagisa nodded. „Right after you, of course!“

Rei was still having trouble formulating each response and his body seemed rooted to the floor. „95%!“ he muttered under his breath and stared dumbfounded as Nagisa approached him and slipped his arms around Rei’s waist. The smaller swimmer gazed into Rei’s purple eyes and the taller boy seemed to be actually speechless. „Like I told you, Rei-chan! I’m gonna study really hard so we can go to university together!“

Rei’s shocked expression melted into one of adoration, and he ducked his head so the two could endulge in another long and slow kiss.


	24. Our Names

Rei had ended up insisting that instead of spending the day studying together, like they did most Sundays, they take it easy and instead spend the day relaxing to celebrate Nagisa’s outstanding result. The boy in question had actually refused at first, which prompted Rei to pin him down to the bed and kiss him until he stopped trying to escape and accepted his fate. Nagisa refusing to not study was something Rei never expected to experience, but he was even more surprised to find himself thinking about how adorable it was.

They stayed in bed talking and kissing for three hours straight and then only got up because Nagisa was hungry and Rei had let slip that his mother had left them cake. The butterfly had walked into the kitchen and gotten their so-called meal in a daze and found himself unable to focus on anything other than the shape of Nagisa’s chin and the way the light was reflected in his gorgeous magenta eyes. They ate in a comfortable silence and then went to wash their dishes. 

Nagisa’s determination was something that Rei had always admired. When Nagisa had put immense effort into convincing him to join the swimming club, it already struck him how piercing his gaze could be when he was truly motivated to accomplish something, but this whole university business was something different. With Nagisa’s usual grades he could get into a decent university, but he wanted more. He wanted to get into the same university as Rei without holding him back, and that was a commitment and a sacrifice Rei would never be able to thank him enough for. That happy-go-lucky boy who turned most things into a joke and seemed so giddily irresponsible was so much more beneath the surface. Rei felt honored that he was allowed to see it. 

A hand sliced through his unfocused view of the dishrack. He turned his attention to the owner of the appendage who was laughing at him. „Earth to Rei-chan! You’ve been washing that dish for a million years!“ Rei looked down at the object in his hand and put it on the rack. Nagisa kissed him briefly on the cheek and started heading back to his room. Rei followed.

Nagisa stopped halfway between the door and the bed and lifted his arms over his head to stretch. Rei walked up behind him and wrapped his arms tightly over his stomach, fitting his face into the crook of the blond’s neck. „Rei-chan?“ the boy asked, surprise at the sudden affection evident in his voice. „What’s wrong?“

Rei nuzzled the soft skin of his neck and tightened his grip around the smaller boy to make sure he couldn’t escape. „I love you...“ he murmured.

Nagisa gasped almost comically and immediately started thrashing around in his grip, trying desperately to turn around to face him, but Rei held him tightly. „Reii-chaaaan, let me goooo!“ he giggled. The taller of the two dug his fingertips into Nagisa’s sides and lifted him off the ground. The penguin burst out laughing and started kicking his legs around and twisting impressively in Rei’s grip, but the blunet just moved his head back so as to avoid losing any teeth and chuckled heartily at the writhing mess in his arms. 

„S-stop t-t-tickling, Reiiii-chaann, oh my goooddd!!“ 

Once Nagisa sounded like he was almost completely out of breath, Rei stopped, and loosened his grip enough for his boyfriend to finally spin around and fling himself onto the violet-eyed boy. They held each other tightly, both out of breath and with pounding hearts and cheeks aching from smiling and laughing too much. 

Nagisa started muttering a string of ‚I love you’s against his shoulder and Rei chuckled again. He pulled his head back and nudged Nagisa’s temple with his nose to get the shorter boy to look at him. He kissed him softly and then a little harder until their breaths were coming out in excited little gasps. „I love you... Nagisa.“

„I love you too, Rei.“

Rei used to think that love was illogical, and when he’d think about it when he was lying in his bed waiting for Nagisa to answer his text message, he’d agree with himself on that one, but standing in the middle of his room holding his boyfriend and relishing in the sound of his own name coming off his lips, he felt like it was truly the most simple thing in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yoooooo i'm a huge fucking sap atheart (sometimes and only when it comes to fictional gays)
> 
> next chapter is rintori and makoharu (but mostly makoharu) so just a heads up to anyone who's not interested in that but then again reigisa and after that it will be only reigisa yeeeeeeeeeeee


	25. You Know Me

It was a chilly Sunday afternoon so Makoto had banned Haru from going to the pool, instead inviting him to take a walk by the ocean. The water-obsessed raven had taken a long bath that morning so his predicament wasn’t so difficult to bear and Makoto’s company was always warm and welcoming. They were walking along the streets in comfortable silence when they spotted a fimiliar head of red hair. Makoto gasped and called Rin’s name and Haru looked down at the attention they had attracted from the people surrounding them. They were approached by Rin and Nitori, who hid shyly behind the taller swimmer and smiled at them a little awkwardly, no doubt feeling like he didn’t belong.

„Yo, Makoto. Haru.“ Rin greeted them nonchalantly. Makoto returned the greeting to both him and the grey-haired boy and Haru gave a curt nod. 

„I’m surpised to see you guys here! Isn’t this a little far from Samezuka?“ Makoto asked with his signature smile curling his lips upwards and Haru blushed a little at the attention he caught himself paying to the expression. 

„Oh, yeah, I guess it is. We just thought we’d come out into Iwatobi a little.“ Rin replied, lifting his right hand to scratch at the back of his neck. He glanced momentarily at his teammate, who was shifting from foot to foot nervously and pulling at his fingers. He was blushing slightly, which Haru found curious. „Why?“ he spoke up, hoping he came off more interested than rude. Nitori gaped at him a little, but Rin obviously understood that this was juts Haru’s way of showing involvement and interest. 

„Oh, uh,“ the hand moved from his neck to run through his hair, „well, we’re actually on a, uh, date.“

Nitori gave a little yelp and flushed to match Rin’s hair and eyes, and Haru peered at him in surprise. He’d noticed that Nitori admired Rin and they had been roommates for a year, but he never expected this turn of events. Makoto gasped and couldn’t stop the stream of words tumbling from his lips, „Oh my god, congratulations, that is so great, and ohhh my god, I am so sorry, I shouldn’t have called you over, how rude of me! We interrupted your date, we’re really sorry, I didn’t know you guys were on a date, but that is so great, I’m really happy for you b-„

„Makoto, let’s go. We shouldn’t disturb them.“

Haru pulled harshly on the taller brunet’s sleeve and effectively silenced him. Rin and Nitori gave them both grateful smiles and waved goodbye before walking off down the street. The two childhood friends continued on their previous route, Makoto still rambling about how terrible of him it was, how he should have noticed and if Haru thinks he ruined anything for the two. Haru just kept walking in silence, lost in his own train of thought. Makoto calmed down a little and gave a heavy sigh.

„Everyone’s dating.“ Haru commented. He could feel green eyes boring into his temple but he kept his gaze on the buildings they were heading towards. „Um, yeah, they are.“ Makoto agreed. They fell into a silence that was less comfortable than the freestyle swimmer had ever experienced between himself and his best friend. Suddenly, he stopped walking and, as usual, Makoto paused a couple steps in front of him and turned to look at him curiously.  
„I don’t feel well.“ Haru stated. „Let’s go back.“

Makoto’s confused face faded into surprise and then hardened into worry and slight panic. „Haru, that’s no good! I told you you need to eat something other than mackerel! Don’t you remember that speech Rei gave you about the importance of a balanced diet? Come on, we need to get you home!“ He stormed past the raven and pulled him along by the forearm, buzzing with some sort of motherly adrenaline rush. Haru followed obediently, allowing Makoto to rant about his health all the way back to his front door, but the second they stepped inside, he released himself from his friend’s grip. The taller boy turned to him and was about to protest before Haru stopped him. „I lied. I feel fine.“

Makoto stared at him in disbelief. „What’d you do that for? I was worried!“

„Everyone’s dating.“

Just like that, with those two words, the awkward atmosphere from before crashed on them again. Haru refused to look away from Makoto’s confused gaze. He knew the other could tell what he meant. Makoto could read him like an open book and as much as he may have been gullible at times, Haru was confident there would be no misunderstanding this time.

Makoto swallowed loudly and took a step forward, the colour building up on his cheeks. He waited for some sort of reaction from Haru, his insecurity doubting what he could read from his friend’s face, but the raven made no attempt to stop him. He slowly approached him until they were standing close enough for the raven to spot the flecks of copper in the green sea of Makoto’s eyes. They looked at each other for some ten seconds, confirming that this was what they both wanted and that it felt right, and then Makoto’s trembling hands gently cupped Haru’s cheeks, the warmth from his palms seeping through the shorter boy’s skin. Haru closed his eyes and welcomed the press of Makoto’s lips against his own, allowing his body to shiver from excitement and his breath to catch in his throat at the overwhelming softness of the delicate skin as Makoto pressed against him harder and more bravely with every kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yooooooooooooooo this is the last appearance of rintori and makoharu unfortunately
> 
> basically now there will be the first significant time skip up to Nagisa's birthday and this next chapter will take me longer to write because a) it will be much longer b) it is the sexy times yayyy (i have never written smut before so i will need to tape ice packs to my cheeks to stop my head from exploding bear with me)
> 
> and then more time skips
> 
> goodbye makoharu and rintori you will be missed in this fic


	26. Chapter Twenty-Sex

It was finally Nagisa’s birthday, but even as he was walking through the August heat hand in hand with Rei, he found it difficult to feel like they were heading to the beach to celebrate. This was going to be the last time they really got to hang out with Rin, Haru and Makoto before they all left to university. Rei, of course, had been doing his best the past couple of weeks to keep both their minds focused on other things instead of worrying about the transition to being just the two of them, but the thoughts always returned. 

„Everyone will be gone soon...“ Nagisa muttered. Throughout the three months they’d been together the boy had learnt that Rei really was someone he could talk to whenever and about whatever and he’d always say the right things. As much as he didn’t wish to dampen his boyfriend’s spirits, he couldn’t help but express what was on his mind. Rei stopped beside him and pulled on his hand to stop him too. They looked at each other and the taller boy squeezed Nagisa’s hand. „Nagisa, this is your day, you shouldn’t be thinking about unpleasant things. I know, of course, it’s easier said than done, but what we should focus on is that everyone is there to celebrate your day and be happy, so shouldn’t we do the same? For their sakes and yours.“

Nagisa watched him, a small smile crawling onto his face. Rei really was adorably impressive. „I love you, Rei-chan!“

„What are you still adding the ‚chan’ for?“

„Habit, and it sounds really cute!“

Rei sighed, amused, and they started walking again. „Ohh, Rei-chan, I’m a year older than you now!“

„That isn’t how time works, Nagisa...“ 

Eventually, they arrived at the beach, where everyone was already waiting for them, blankets draped over the sand and a stack of presents beside the group of people singing loudly. Nagisa approached them all with tears welling up in his eyes, and Rei squeezed his hand once more before letting go so the birthday boy could go and hug everyone who was there. Haru and Makoto had baked a huge cake and done an outstanding job at it – the whole thing disappeared in a matter of minutes and everyone had to sit back for a good half hour afterwards before they were capable of doing anything other than maintaining a slurred conversation. 

The entire night passed by in a flash. Once the sugar kicked in, the entire party fell into slight chaos and Nagisa ended up being the calmest one there. He was beyond happy to be there and with everyone and he was enjoying himself to the fullest, but a lot of the time he spent sitting back and listening, watching, and saving it all to memory – the sight of Rin tickling Rei mercilessly and Haru inexplicably insisting on giving Makoto a piggyback ride into the water (though Makoto wasn’t aware of their destination as he was climbing onto his boyfriend’s shoulders). At some point Gou stormed over to Rin and began to tell him off for being a ‚perverted little brat’ and five minutes later Rin was throwing Nitori into the air and catching him again while screaming „This is what you get for telling on me to my sister!!“, but no one dared ask what the short boy had revealed. By midnight everyone had to head back to their own houses, and, although both Rei and Nagisa insisted, Haru and Makoto refused to let them clean up the mess of plastic cups and sandy blankets, so the two boys began heading back to Rei’s house. His boyfriend was carrying a huge beach bag full to the brim with the presents Nagisa had received and when they entered the empty apartment, the blond felt perfectly fulfilled. He toed off his shoes and was about to head to the bedroom when he heard the faint thump of the bag hitting the ground and felt Rei pulling him back harshly to pin him against the front door in an exciting turn of events.

Rei pressed against him with his full body, leaving little space to breathe properly, and then kissed him hard. Fingers wrapped around the small boy’s wrists and pressed them against the wood on either side of Nagisa’s head. The boy gasped and the kiss turned sloppy as he dropped his chin and allowed Rei to lick into his mouth hungrily. 

The butterfly swimmer turned his attention to Nagisa’s neck and his thumbs went to brush delicately over the insides of the blond’s sensitive wrists, a spot that always had the boy writhing in need in no time. Rei sucked and bit and licked at the birthday boy’s pulse, leaving a scattering of purple bruises and faint bite marks. Nagisa’s mind was reeling and he was already grinding mindlessly against the body still pushing his into the door, seeking out any relief he could get, but apparently Rei had planned everything out for them, because he suddenly pulled back. Nagisa looked at him and admired the predatory gaze that he had never thought, before they began dating, that someone like Rei could be capable of. The ring of violet was barely visible around his dilated pupils and his lids were heavy over his eyes. 

Rei pulled Nagisa by the hand to his bedroom, his muscles tight with excitement under his t-shirt and moves quick and precise as he pulled his glasses off and placed them on his desk, before turning around and all but tearing his shirt off and then Nagisa’s. He threw the discarded clothing on the ground and pushed the small blond onto the bed, once again pinning him down to limit his movement with a hand against his chest, the other pressing down to palm against Nagisa’s growing erection. The blond writhed against the sheets and bucked up into the generous hand as much as he could with the stronger teen holding him down, pleasure coursing through his veins and the pitch of his voice rising as he moaned needily. He was more than grateful for Rei’s parents’ absence. 

The blue-haired boy leaned back and tugged strongly at Nagisa’s belt to get it undone and then proceeded to pull his pants off in one swift motion, flinging them across the room to land somewhere between their forgotten shirts. He resumed palming Nagisa’s dick firmly, letting his index fingers press against the head, and his mouth started caressing the skin of Nagisa’s neck again, licking down over his collarbones, to gently toy with a nipple. The blond’s hands jerked up to run through soft hair and he let out a shameless moan, feeling more and more blood travel to his dick. 

Rei moved back up to kiss the boy, and he attempted to get the bigger swimmer’s pants unbuttoned, but he was pinned down for the third time that night, and this time Rei was using the full weight of his body and using his position between Nagisa’s thighs as opportunity to grind down hard against his growing erection. The blond threw his head back and let out a high pitched whine. His boyfriend tangled his fingers in his hair and pulled to tilt his head to the side, allowing him to bite hard into the exposed muscle, sending a furious jolt of arousal through his body. Rei’s lips travelled upwards to nibble on Nagisa’s ear lobe and then he spoke huskily, „It’s your birthday, remember?“. Nagisa could swear that if Rei tried, he could easily make him come just from talking in that deep raspy voice, so unlike his usual tone. The blond moaned weakly in response, welcoming the idea of Rei having his way with him and taking complete control over the situation.

The boy ground down furiously and reached his hand over to rake his nails down Nagisa’s outer thigh, leaving long red marks from his hip to his knee. The gentle sting amplified the pleasure in his dick and his jaw went slack as another moan slipped out. Rei took the opportunity to press his tongue into Nagisa’s mouth in a sloppy kiss that had spit sliding down his jawline into his hair and then he felt his briefs being slipped off over his ass and hot fingers encasing his erection. Nagisa moaned into Rei’s mouth and felt the taller boy’s lips curling into a smirk at the sound of his boyfriend falling apart as he started to pump him firmly but slowly. 

Through the haze of teeth dragging over his lower lip relentlessly and the increasingly slippery grip around his erection, Nagisa noted with excitement that this was as far as the two of them had ever gotten, but the look in Rei’s darkened eyes and the guttural, almost feral, growl he gave everytime Nagisa’s blunt fingernails dug into the skin covering his shoulder blades told the flailing boy that there was more to come this time. A faint twist of nervousness rose in his gut when he felt his dick being released and the sound of Rei undoing his own pants and pulling them off together with his briefs, but as soon as he caught sight of Rei’s significantly larger shaft, his mouth started to water and the anxiety was pushed back by arousal. Rei leaned back to give Nagisa a relatively chaste kiss and to then look into his eyes, seeking out any sign of him wanting to stop. 

„I love you.“ Nagisa choked out and lifted his legs to wrap them around Rei’s waist and pull him down to create friction between them, but Rei kept himself lifted slightly, watching the boy beneath him. 

„Are you sure you want to do this?“

„I trust you.“ 

As soon as the words left Nagisa’s lips, Rei leaned down and licked over his teeth before pulling back again and retrieving a bottle of lube and a condom from the nightstand. He uncapped the container and poured a generous amount of the substance onto his fingers, sliding them against each other to make sure they were coated evenly. He supported himself over Nagisa by leaning on one forearm next to the head of blond hair and reached the other hand down between them to slowly, gently, begin stretching Nagisa out. The small boy tensed at the intrusion, but Rei went back to kissing and licking over his neck and he concentrated on the wet pressure of his tongue and the bluntness of his teeth and the feeling of his smooth hair between his fingers. Rei put another finger in and gave a low moan into Nagisa’s ear, „Fuck, it’s warm.“ The low groan of his voice and the rare swear word coming from his mouth had Nagisa relaxing around him and welcoming him deeper, and then Rei curled his fingers slightly and hit his prostate. Nagisa jerked and his legs flailed outwards and he didn’t even register the pitch or the volume of the whine that escaped him. His body started to push back onto Rei’s hand and the swimmer inserted a third finger and slid his tongue into Nagisa’s mouth to feel the vibrations of the sounds he was making against his lips.

He scissored his fingers and curled them, locating and massaging that spot again, until Nagisa scratched his back hard enough for him to feel to sting of broken skin and bit hard into his shoulder. He pulled his fingers out and sat back to put the condom on, even in his excited state careful to do it properly. He moved back to hover over Nagisa, supported on one arm while the other reached between them to get himself in position. He kissed Nagisa once before beginning to push in, watching his face the entire time, until he was buried up to the hilt. He moved his arm up and stayed still, watching Nagisa’s face as it contorted into discomfort and his breaths came out shaky. Sweat was running down Rei’s temples and the shaking of his muscles showed how badly he wanted to slide back and thrust hard into Nagisa, but he waited patiently and ducked his head to lay a column of soft wet kisses from the blond’s earlobe down to his collar bone.

Nagisa closed his eyes and focused on the brush of his boyfriend’s lips against his skin and the heat of the dick inside him. He felt his body beginning to relax and the sting of intrusion subside and when he felt more confident, he quietly gasped, „You can move.“ Rei kissed him slowly and with more tongue than lip, before slowly pulling back and pushing back in. The movement felt weird but strangely pleasant to Nagisa and he gripped Rei’s tense biceps with his hands. Rei groaned deep into his mouth and lifted his face as he repeated the motion again and again. With each time Nagisa’s eyelids drooped lower and lower in arousal and he could feel drops of precome sliding over his abs. 

Rei adjusted his angle slightly, and as he thrust back in, he hit Nagisa’s prostate dead on. Immediately the blond’s hand dove into blue hair and an arm draped over his back as he screamed out, wrapping his shaking legs around his boyfriend to drag him back in fast and deep. Rei’s right arm slid around the back of Nagisa’s knee and lifted his leg up almost far enough to hook it over his shoulder and the short blond pressed his head back into the matress. He could feel warm tightness building low in his abdomen with every snap of Rei’s hips and by the low growls the blunet was giving and the long licks over his neck, he could tell Rei was close too. He planted random kisses on Rei’s cheeks, tasting the saltiness of his sweaty skin and feeling the stretch in the back of his thigh from the way his leg was hooked over Rei’s arm, and he pushed back onto Rei’s dick as much as he could as he felt himself reaching his climax. 

The fingers pulling harshly on tangled blue strands tugged hard to pull Rei’s head back and force him to look into Nagisa’s eyes, and the sight of his wild eyes and clenched jaw pushed the blond over the edge, tightening around his boyfriend and dragging him along. Nagisa came all over his own abdomen as Rei pressed into him as deep as he could, moving his hips in circles to hit his prostate over and over again, riding out their orgasms together, Nagisa with a filthy moan and Rei with a possessive snarl. 

They paused for a good twenty seconds, breathing against each other’s cheeks and letting their bodies and minds calm down, and then Rei pulled out with a shaky gasp and sat back to take off the used condom, tie it up and throw it in the general direction of the trash can. He then half-collapsed next to an exhausted Nagisa, immobilized from his high and desperately trying to catch his breath. Rei kissed his sweaty cheek and Nagisa managed to muster up enough energy to look at him and mumble, „Holy shit, Rei.“ 

„Happy birthday.“

Nagisa lifted his head to kiss the other boy on the lips in thanks and then dropped back with his eyes closed, his mind trying to cling onto consciousness long enough to fall asleep next to Rei once the boy had settled. The butterfly swimmer staggered across the room to get tissues and pick up their briefs from the floor and then he made his way back to the bed. He cleaned up the sticky mess on Nagisa’s abdomen and then helped him into his briefs. Once they were both in their underwear, he laid down next to the birthday boy, embracing him loosely so as to avoid sticking together uncomfortably from the sweat, and threw the thin covers over them.

„Love you, Rei.“ Nagisa slurred sleepily.

„Love you, too.“

They both passed out immediately afterwards.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I BET YALL THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO MAKE IT ALL ROMANTIC AND SHIT 
> 
> NOPE IT'S FAST IT'S FILTHY AND IT'S SLOPPY AND THEY'RE BOTH KINKY LITTLE FUCKS
> 
> ALSO LARA IF U R READING THIS U DO NOT HAVE PERMISSION TO SHOW THIS TO ANYONE UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES DO U UNDERSTAND I WILL FIND YOU AND KILL U


	27. The Ticking of Your Breaths

The sun’s rays left prickling streaks across his face and the gentle warm caress pulled him into consciousness. Rei lifted a hand to rub at his eyelids and then peered down at the blond wrapped around him. For the first time in probably their entire time together, even just as friends, Rei had woken up before Nagisa, a development he found he didn’t know what to do with. He was always the one being woken up and now he had no idea how he should nudge the smaller boy awake. It seemed so harsh. He laid his head back against the pillow to enjoy the unusual silence for a while longer before he decided what to do. 

The sun was already high up in the sky. Rei couldn’t see his watch anywhere closeby but he judged that they must have really slept in. He had no idea what time it had been when they had finally gone to sleep, but it must have been pretty late. Besides, it had been an... eventful night. His fingertips drifted over the bare skin of Nagisa’s back, barely touching, just running them back and forth slowly. Puffs of breath spilled over Rei’s chest and their rhythm reminded Rei of the ticking of a clock. If only time could be measured in Nagisa, the blue-haired boy thought he wouldn’t dread the future so much. 

They had one year of high school left. Makoto, Rin and Haruka would be gone soon, and Rei promised himself he’d help Nagisa adjust as much as he possibly could. He’d make sure he still found moments of peace without mistaking it for loneliness and that mornings like this one would still take place. He’d take him swimming regardless of the lack of practices and ensure the boy didn’t blame himself for their having to disband the swimming club. Whenever Rei looked at Nagisa he saw someone strong, but he knew that when Nagisa cracked, he broke apart completely. He’d definitely be there to piece him together.

And maybe in a year they wouldn’t be saying goodbye. Maybe they’d be getting ready to leave and go to university together. Nagisa had been studying extremely hard, despite insisting that it ‚was still fun with Rei’, so it was now more a possibility than a dream, though it would truly be a dream come true to Rei. The thought of seeing the blond tuft of hair every morning in a new setting, with new responsibilities, starting out their lives together... it was all something Rei never thought he’d come to crave so much. He closed his eyes and moved his hand into Nagisa’s hair, admiring the softness of it even when it was less than clean, and imagined waking up like this in a year, two years, a decade. The warmth seeping from the arm the breast stroke swimmer had thrown over Rei’s waist and the leg pressed against the boy’s, his skin so smooth compared to the material of his briefs. Everything was perfect – even with the general stickiness of sweat and the heavy laziness settled in the room. Rei figured he should open a window but the noise from outside would drown out the even sighs escaping Nagisa’s pink lips. 

Rei sighed and lifted his head to press a kiss to Nagisa’s forehead, actively avoiding making contact with his hair line which was glistening lightly with sweat. He kept pressing more and more kisses to the skin until the huffs of air turned to a long inhale through his nose and Nagisa’s body was twisting around him slowly. The blond was moving to lie more on top of Rei and he pressed his face against the butterfly’s neck. Rei cringed at the thought of how badly they both needed a shower but the cuteness of a sleepy Nagisa, especially when he made a high-pitched peep while stretching on top of Rei’s body, was something Rei thought he didn’t even want to resist. 

Nagisa mumbled something unintelligible. Rei pinched his sides lightly and the short boy jerked a little and kicked around with his feet. Rei was fascinated. He decided that waking up early from time to time might just be worth it if he got to see more of Nagisa like this. The boy jerked his head up to look Rei in the eye and the butterfly couldn’t help but burst out laughing. Nagisa’s hair was everywhere and his eyes were puffy and barely open, but he fought his hardest to pout angrily and furrow his eyebrows. His eyes glistened with what could only be confusion and he looked so small. Rei’s amusement only seemed to disgruntle the blond further and he groaned a little, still too tired to form words. „You look like a ferret“ Rei chuckled, watching the pink face in front of him. 

The comparison sank in at a hilariously slow pace. Nagisa’s eyes blinked open as he became more conscious, but the jungle of hair on top of his head just looked even more hilarious on someone who wasn’t half asleep. Nagisa’s lips came unpursed as he gaped at Rei in shock. „A ferret?“ he questioned in disbelief. Rei nodded, smirking. „A ferret!?“ Nagisa jumped up to straddle Rei’s waist and started punching him in the chest, and Rei was glad he was still tired because Nagisa could be more vicious than he looked, but at the moment he was weak and his punches tickled more than hurt. „Rei-chan, you asshole! A ferret! How dare you!“ 

Rei laughed heartily and soon Nagisa had joined him and stopped the attack. The small boy leaned down to kiss him on the cheek and sighed „Good morning.“

„Good afternoon is more like it.“

The blond turned to look out the window. „Yeah“ he sniggered, „we should probably get up.“

Rei sat up to wrap his arms around his small boyfriend’s waist and pull him back down onto the bed. Nagisa yelped a little in surprise, but soon melted into the embrace gratefully. They laid there for a couple minutes just holding each other, Rei patting down Nagisa’s messy hair, before Nagisa murmured into Rei’s neck, „We fucked.“ 

The butterfly spluttered and tried to sit up as quickly as was possible with the body half-pinning his down to the bed. He stood up and started gathering the clothes littering his floor as Nagisa laughed at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am sorrrryyyyy that this took a little longer to write i will rly try to step my game up now though it's harurinralia today (yyyyeyyeeeeaaaahhhhhhhhhhh) so there might be the next chapter up today but no more than that unfortunately pls don't kille mee


	28. The Future

Nagisa’s studying paid off, just as Rei always knew it would. They both got into the same university, and decided to celebrate. It wasn’t really much of a celebration – Nagisa invited himself to Rei’s house as he did anyways and they spent the day together. The only difference was that now they didn’t have to study for a couple hours, they could just laze around watching movies and making out. Lying on the bed with his head on his boyfriend’s chest, Nagisa thanked himself internally for all the studying he had done and for all the effort he had made. It was a relief to no longer have to worry about where the two of them would end up and if they could continue being together. 

The blond closed his eyes and focused on the feeling of Rei’s fingers playing with his hair. Nagisa knew the butterfly would never admit it, but judging by the amount of time he could spend doing nothing but running his fingers through the gold locks, he really loved moments like these. Rei was a real softie at heart who started crying on their first anniversary and would fuss for weeks everytime Nagisa got sick. The short boy liked this hidden side of him and he liked the fact that he was the only one who got to see it. Many times he’d hear girls in their class talking about how much they’d like to go up to that Rei-kun and talk to him but he seems so stoic and hard to get. Nagisa always listened with amusement (and maybe a tinge of jealousy, but not much, he swears) because he knew that if anyone actually mustered up the courage and complimented the blue-haired boy, he’d probably dissolve into a blushing mess regardless of who it was. Not that he would ever accept a confession from anyone other than Nagisa, but even just a sliver of the soft, dorky, romantic Rei was more than the blond was willing to give away.

And now they would be going to university together. They would still be seeing each other after classes and hanging out on weekends and doing schoolwork together. It would be different, but, for the first time in his life, Nagisa was truly excited for change, as long as some things remained the same.

„Nagisa?“ Rei spoke quietly, with a hesitant breath that spiked Nagisa’s curiosity. He shifted to press his forehead and the bridge of his nose against Rei’s warm neck. He felt the tall boy swallowing hard. „When we leave... do you want to get an apartment together?“

Nagisa processed the words for a while. Surely Rei hadn’t asked him if he wants to live together, right? Nagisa knew he could be annoying and messy and loud and irresponsible at times, so he obviously misheard. He’d thought about it, of course, but he never even considered the possibility that Rei would want to. „What?“ he asked.

Rei cleared his throat nervously. The hand in Nagisa’s hair moved to press against his back and the blond felt it shaking slightly. He pushed himself up onto his knees so he could look Rei in the eye. „What did you ask?“ he repeated, this time with more urgency. He could feel excitement swelling in his chest and his heartrate picking up.

Rei looked to the side. His cheeks were flushed slightly and his shoulders tensed. Nagisa knew the symptoms of Rei being nervous and Rei hadn’t been nervous around him in almost a year. „I asked if you wanted to get an apartment tog-„

The small swimmer lunged into his boyfriend’s chest with a high-pitched yelp of excitement. His muscles were tensed from the sudden rush of adrenalin and he nuzzled Rei’s neck a little violently, causing the younger boy to squirm a little underneath him, obviously confused at the reaction he had gotten. „Yes“ Nagisa mumbled into his skin, „yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!“

Rei embraced him tightly and kissed the top of his head. All tension had dissipated but Nagisa’s mind was still searching for ways to release the energy his heart was pumping around his body. He opted for laying a series of chaste kisses onto Rei’s neck, but the butterfly used the movement to lift Nagisa’s chin and kiss him hard on the lips. What started as a sweet but enthusiastic kiss turned sloppy and excited, and the two ended up pulling apart suddenly to catch their breaths. Nagisa smiled down at Rei. „I thought you wouldn’t want to live with me because I’m messy and stuff.“

Rei looked genuinely confused. „Don’t be silly, Nagisa.“ He lifted his head to kiss the blond on the lips again and then fell back down. The magenta-eyed boy ran his fingertips over Rei’s defined cheek bone and down to the shell of his ear. „Mmmm, wow, Rei. You might just be the love of my life.“ he hummed softly, not looking Rei in the eye, expecting him to get embarassed and find an excuse to leave. The blunet lay his hands on Nagisa’s waist, but otherwise didn’t move. After a couple seconds of Nagisa still refusing to look at him he spoke softly, as if to himself, „You might just be mine, too. I can’t imagine it ever getting better than this.“

Nagisa sucked in a breath and felt heat rising in his cheeks. He ducked his head to hide his face in the crook of Rei’s neck once again, blushing harder than he ever remembered doing. Rei chuckled softly and went back to playing with his hair.


	29. I Always Worry About You

Rei sat at the table in the living room, his back hunched and his eyebrows furrowed. He always had Tuesdays off, but for the past three weeks he’d spent pretty much all his free time working on a research paper that was due in two weeks. He rubbed his eyelids, which burned, begging for sleep. The pressure of university was worse than Rei had ever imagined and even he, who obsessed over ways to be at his most efficient and eating right and getting enough sleep, was slowly drifting down into frantically staying up until three in the morning scribbling down notes and making plans. 

The boy missed the sound of the front door opening and Nagisa calling out, „I’m home!“. It was only when he felt a hand landing on his shoulder that he jerked his head around, finally noticing his boyfriend’s presence. „You’re back.“ he mumbled, but then his mind was back on astrophysics. Nagisa’s hand slid up into his hair to catch his attention again and he looked back at the blond absently. „Rei, can we talk for a bit?“

Rei sighed. „Just let me finish this one paragraph, okay?“ Nagisa nodded and smiled at him, and then went to the kitchen. Rei focused back on his work, stretching his fingers out and ignoring the painful stiffness in his wrists and the throbbing headache and heaviness of his exhausted body. He had to finish this project well before the deadline so then he could proofread it and edit it and check for any silly mathematical errors. He finished the paragraph he was working on and stood up with a yawn. He headed to the kitchen, stumbling a little from light-headedness at standing up so quickly when his brain was so tired. Nagisa was sitting at the table, reading a history book, but he looked up when he heard Rei entering and pushed it to the side of the table. Rei fell back into the other chair and looked at his boyfriend. It suddenly hit him that for some reason Nagisa looked a mixture of serious, sad and nervous. The boy felt his mind jolting awake with worry.

„You wanted to talk?“ He shifted in his chair, watching the smaller boy’s face as it twisted into a sad smile. „Rei, when’s the last time you slept more than three hours?“

Ah, so that was it. Rei sighed. „Nagisa, you know I need to finish this. It’s important.“

„I know, but look at you, Rei. You’re falling apart. You need to relax a little.“

The blunet knew he was just exhausted and stressed, because he had never actually gotten angry at Nagisa, but he couldn’t help the painful lump developing in his throat and the tremor in his gut. He tried to keep his voice steady and his fists unclenched, as he said, „How exactly am I supposed to do that? Please, tell me, how am I supposed to finish this project without slaving over it for hours on end? You think I enjoy this, Nagisa?“

There was an uncomfortable silence hanging between them and Rei looked down at the floor. He couldn’t stand the sight of round magenta eyes watching him in shock. His heart was still slamming against his ribcage when Nagisa finally stood up from his seat and began to walk around the table, but instead of heading out the door without a word, he gently sat down in Rei’s lap and wrapped his arms around the physicist’s shoulders. Nagisa pulled Rei’s face into the crook of his neck and ran his fingertips over the boy’s nape, a gesture which, in the past, had worked wonders at calming him down. Rei started to relax a little but his mind kept wandering back to the unfinished project.

„You’re here right now, Rei. That’s all you need to think about for the moment, okay?“ Nagisa’s voice was soft and soothing and his warm fingers were tracing patterns onto Rei’s skin, and finally the boy managed to relax his hurting muscles and wrap his arms around his smaller boyfriend. He pressed his lips against the blond’s neck and felt guilt crawling up his gullet in a string of muffled apologies. Nagisa shushed him and turned his head to kiss Rei’s temple, and then they sat in silence for a little longer. 

„How was your day?“ Rei questioned after a couple minutes. Nagisa giggled, and he didn’t sound at all mad when he answered, „It was good. I was worried about you, though.“

The violet-eyed boy pulled his face away and hesitated before looking up at Nagisa. He was afraid he’d find traces of hurt, betrayal, anything that would feed his guilt, but Nagisa was smiling down at him, absolutely glowing with pride and adoration. Rei looked to the side with a frown. „I’m sorry, I just keep getting stuck and this project is just taking much longer than it should... I’m sorry. You deserve better than this.“

Nagisa pressed his palm against Rei’s cheek and lifted his face to force their gazes to lock. His smile grew and he said softly, „You’re silly, Rei. Even at your worst you’re too good to me.“Rei sighed through his nose and leaned into the touch. „And maybe you keep getting stuck because you’re too tired to think properly. Remember how you always lectured me about that?“

The navy-haired boy nodded and leaned forward to kiss Nagisa on the lips. „Thank you...“ he mumbled. 

„You’re welcome. So how about we go and get some sleep then?“ Nagisa was already standing up and grabbing Rei’s hand to pull him to the bedroom. Rei tensed and was about to object, but stopped himself at the last moment and followed Nagisa to the bed. He kissed him again before changing out of his day clothes and going to hurriedly wash, exhaustion pulling his eyelids lower and lower and slowing his movements down. Nagisa watched him carefully, making sure he didn’t fall asleep by the sink or in the middle of the hall. The second his head touched the pillow, he fell asleep, and Nagisa was the one to pull the covers over their bodies and take his glasses off for him and put them on the bedside table. 

The next morning, Rei woke up feeling like he had been reborn and blessed by every god in the history of mankind. He sat up in bed and stretched, feeling his muscles pulling comfortably, no longer tight and strained with stress. He could make out the blurred number on their alarm clock - he had slept for a good thirteen hours. The sound of sizzling was floating in through the crack in the door, and the boy put on his glasses and walked to the kitchen, where he found Nagisa making him breakfast, wearing nothing more than bright pink briefs. He walked over to the shorter boy and pressed a kiss to his naked shoulder. 

„Morning, Rei-chan!“ the boy sang, sticking his butt out to bump Rei’s hip. 

„You forgot to put your clothes on, Nagisa.“

„What’s that? You’re not hungry? Guess I don’t have to make you breakfast then!“ The blond half-turned to give him a cheeky grin, but Rei took the opportunity to give him a hard kiss on the lips. „Thank you.“ he mumbled against the soft pink skin, but a particularly loud sizzle caught Nagisa’s attention before he could respond. 

They ate breakfast together, Rei enjoying the lack of headache and the new energy. He had to go to class, but before he left he made sure to thank Nagisa again. The blond kissed him gently on both cheeks and then once on the mouth. „Someone has to take care of my Rei-chan!“

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GET READY BEACHES BECAUSE THE NEXT CHAPTER IS GOING TO BBBLLOOOWWW YYOUURRR MIIINDDDSS (no i am not hinting at blow jobs sorry no more smut in this fic) BUT IT'S GOING TO BE REALLY CUTEE AHHHH I'ME XICTED


	30. Love Actually

The cold wind was flicking snowflakes against the glass of the windows and the breeze knocked against the surface. Looking at the white, misty world outside, Nagisa found it hard to believe that not everywhere was as warm as their apartment. It was the first snow storm of the season and work was cancelled the next day for anyone who had to get there by public transport. This meant both him and Rei were having a relaxed evening, with a nice dinner and now Nagisa’s favourite Christmas movie, Love Actually. Though Rei always insisted on finding it boring, the blond caught him tearing up profusely whenever he ‚forced’ Rei into watching it.

„Reiiii, come onnn, I’m waiting!“ he called out.

„Well, if you would have offered to help me clean up after dinner we would already be watching, so don’t be so impatient, Nagisa.“

The blond smiled. He’d never liked winter that much when they were in high school, but ever since they started living together, it was his favorite time of the year. Lying in a warm bed with arms wrapped around him was the best feeling Nagisa ever experienced, and knowing that two metres away the cold bit away at the walls only made it that much more comfortable. He heard the tap being turned off and soon enough Rei was sitting down on the couch with his back against the high arm rest, and Nagisa settled between his outstretched legs so they were lying together, Nagisa leaning on Rei, like they always did to watch TV. The blond pressed play and lay back, his head tucked comfortably under Rei’s chin. 

Nagisa knew the movie by heart. It wasn’t so much the plot and the characters that he wanted to experience on evenings like that one, it was just the peace and the tranquility of laying there with Rei, feeling his own body rising and falling with the other’s deep breaths. The odd kiss planted onto the crown of his head and the soft nest of Rei’s arms wrapped tightly around him, keeping him trapped in a feeling of safety and fulfillment. Neither of them laughed at the funny parts of the movie anymore, and Nagisa felt like they didn’t need to. They could just stay still, unmoving, unspeaking, forever and he’d be fully content. As long as Rei was there by his side, he’d always be where he wanted to be. Whether there was background noise or silence, Nagisa’s world was full to the brim with thoughts of Rei, where he is, how he is, what is he doing, what is he feeling, is he happy, does he need anything... 

The blond turned onto his side, leaning his forehead against Rei’s jaw and fingering the collar of his shirt absently. He knew every one of Rei’s shirts by now. He knew all his clothes, all his books, all the food he liked, all the moods he could be in, all the shades of red his face turned depending on how inappropriate Nagisa was behaving and where they were. He knew everything and yet even someone as energetic as Nagisa never got bored. He never got tired or longed for a change, in fact he insisted on going out for dinner every Friday, but only ever on Fridays, because they were the dinner days; he insisted on always sleeping on the same side of the bed, even when they were both dead tired from work or literally passing out after sex. He liked routine now, because it meant that everyday he saw Rei, and maybe if one thing changed it would make everything change, like domino. 

Rei’s arm shifted and he brushed the backs of his index and middle finger delicately down Nagisa’s cheek. „You wanna go to bed, baby?“ he whispered, and Nagisa curled in on himself a little from joy. He shook his head, cherishing the gentleness of Rei’s voice and the pet name he only ever used when he was completely at ease. The small blond closed his eyes, feeling happiness pulsing throughout his body and the warmth radiating from his boyfriend’s skin onto his own. He was ecstatic. He mumbled quietly, „Marry me.“

Rei’s hands gripped his shoulders a little harshly and he was pushed away until he was at arm’s length. He stared at Rei, who’s eyes were wide and his breaths were coming in in gasps. Nagisa couldn’t move or speak. Everything had just felt so right in that moment, it felt like it was perfectly natural that he would ask, though they’d never actually talked about it before. Rei looked like he was trying his best to find something to say but then he sucked in a heavy breath and his eyes teared up and overflowed in under a second. His grip on Nagisa’s shoulders loosened and the small boy lunged forward to hug him tightly. „Rei, don’t cry! I’m sorry, don’t cry!“ 

The blue-haired boy fisted the back of his t-shirt. „God, Nagisa, you can’t surprise me like that, you’ll give me a heart attack!“ he managed. The blond ran his fingertips over Rei’s nape to calm him down and swallowed hard. „Rei? Is that... is that a no?“

Rei shook against him in something that sounded like a mixture of a chuckle and a sob. „It’s a yes, you idiot.“

Nagisa released a breath he hadn’t know he had been holding in a laugh. He felt himself tearing up, as well, and soon enough they were a sobbing knot of limbs curled up on the couch with Love Actually playing in the background. It took them ten minutes of just holding each other to finally stop crying. Thankfully, Rei had some tissues in his pants’ pocket, because there was no way Nagisa was letting either of them get up. They cleaned themselves up a little and then Nagisa leaned his temple against Rei’s shoulder and they sat there, breathing deeply, waiting for their heart rates to go down a little. 

Rei slid his arms around the blond’s smaller frame and pulled him in tighter. „God, I love you, but don’t surprise me like that!“

„Aren’t proposals supposed to be surprises?“ Nagisa retorted.

„Since when do you care about what the norm is?“

„Since when do I care that you hate surprises?“

„I can still back out, you know?“

„That’s emotional blackmail!“

„Call the police, then.“

„Rei-chan, I didn’t know you were into roleplay, but we should really save that for the honeymoon!“

Rei spluttered like Nagisa knew he would, but he laughed nonetheless and his grip on the smaller boy tightened in reassurance that he absolutely wasn’t going anywhere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I FUCKING LOVE THAT MOVIE OKAY
> 
> AND I FUCKING LOVE THE PET NAME 'BABY' SO FUC OFF LET ME DIE IN PEACE I'M A PATHETIC SHITBABY
> 
> and omg they're getting married wooooo
> 
> also just imagine this is in a perfect world where it's legal okay just imagine it
> 
> Rei would totes start crying


	31. Are You Awake

Exactly a week before the ceremony, Rei and Nagisa both found they couldn’t fall asleep. They laid side by side on their backs, staring at the ceiling and thinking about the huge step they were about to take. 

„Rei-chan?“

Rei hummed in response.

„Are you awake?“

„What kind of question is that, Nagisa?“

„Oh shush, no need to go all smarty-pants on me!“ There was silence for a couple moments. „Are you having second thoughts?“

Rei shot up and loomed over Nagisa’s torso. „Are you?“ His voice was panicked and dripping with anxiety and the blond was quick to reassure him. „No no, of course not! I was just scared that you were!“

„That’s silly, Nagisa.“ Rei replied and laid down, though his voice was still shaking slightly with worry.

„Maybe a little, yeah.“

„We should sleep.“

„Can we go to the zoo tomorrow?“

Rei turned his head to look at the other. „Like our first date?“

„Yeah!“ The shorter boy mirrored his actions. „So it can be like our first and last date! You don’t go on dates once you’re married, do you?“

„I suppose everything is kind of one really long date.“

„Yeah... but what about like birthday dinners and anniversary dinners then? What are those?“

„Sub-dates.“

„Datelets.“

Rei snorted and Nagisa started giggling. They spiralled down into a hysterical laughing fit that lasted a couple minutes. Once they had calmed down again, Nagisa rolled over to press his face into Rei’s shoulder and clutched his arm. Rei turned on his side as well, and pulled Nagisa against his chest protectively. He kissed the blond’s forehead and then started carding his fingers through his soft hair. He felt Nagisa’s chest pressing into his stomach with every breath, and he recognized a significantly deeper one as indication that they weren’t going to sleep yet.

„Rei-chan, promise me we’re never going to turn into boring old farts?“

„What’s your definition of a boring old fart?“

„You before you joined the swim club.“

„You mean before you started stalking me until I was sufficiently creeped out to cave in?“

„Oi!“

They fell silent for a bit, but Rei thought intently about Nagisa’s request. He couldn’t ever possibly imagine Nagisa being anything remotely close to boring and he was confident that the blond bombshell would never let him fall into that pit. Despite being in his twenties, Nagisa retained his youthful look and hadn’t grown much either. On top of the excitable nature he retained from their high school days, his sexual confidence had grown and Rei knew he’d never be bored when it came to that. They’d been together seven years now and every day was better than the previous one. Nagisa still managed to surprise the butterfly, make him flustered and embarassed but he also still found ways to reduce Rei to tears of adoration and appreciation. No, they were never going to be boring.

„I promise.“

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am so sorry this is so short i've been super busy with travelling and now i'm buying all my stuff for uni and it's been a mess i'm also rly sick now and just having a hard time shitting out anything worthy of posting :((( i promise i will be up to date again soon!


	32. It's Weird, Isn't It?

Nagisa’s shoulders were straining under the weight of the huge bags filled with decorations for their brand new home. They’d finally moved out of their slightly cramped flat and gotten a proper house with a small garden and enough space to store all of Rei’s books and binders with data and reports. He could feel painful strings of muscle stretching through his biceps, but Rei was anyway carrying even more than him, so he kept quiet. They were finally heading back to their car and Nagisa looked forward to the relief of setting the burden down.

They were stopped by the sound of loud sobbing and upon turning around, they found the source to be a little girl, no older than four years old, standing between rows of tall shelves with the backs of her hands pressed over her eyes and tears spilling out from underneath them. The two men walked over to her and Rei set his bags down on the floor. He crouched down next to the girl and gently touched her shoulder.

„What’s wrong? Are you lost?“ The girl moved her hands slightly to see who was addressing her, but Rei’s warm smile must have reassured her because she calmed down slightly and nodded. 

„Who did you come here with? Your mommy?“

The girl nodded again. Nagisa watched as Rei calmed her down with ease and even managed to make her laugh a little by jokingly scolding her for losing her mother in a busy store. He stood up and turned to the blond. „Nagisa, would you wait here with the bags? I’ll take her to the security guard.“ The blond smiled at both Rei and the little girl, who smiled back at him and sniffled shyly. 

Rei held his hand out and the child grabbed his index and middle fingers in her tiny palm. „Come on, we need to find your mommy, she’s probably really scared in this big store!“

Nagisa stared after them as they rounded a corner. He’d always known Rei was good with kids. Even in high school the Tachibana twins adored the butterfly, but somehow this was different. 

Rei returned after fifteen minutes looking immensely relieved. „The store made an announcement and the mother picked her up. Poor girl, she must have been really scared!“

Nagisa smiled warmly at Rei, but other than that didn’t respond in any way. The blunet noticed the bizarre response, or lack thereof, and paused half-bent, fingers gripping the strap of one of the bags loosely. „What’s the matter, Nagisa?“ he asked, worried.

„Nooothing, Rei-chan! I’m just really tired!“ 

The taller man stood up and lifted the bags onto his shoulders one by one. „Do you want me to carry anything for you? Do your arms hurt?“

The blond scoffed and turned to start walking towards the exit to the car park. „Don’t be silly, Rei-chan, you’re already carrying more than me!“

„Are you sure? I can still carry one more bag!“

„And dislocate both shoulders? No, thank you, if you’re disabled who’ll cook for me?“

„I’m not your cook, Nagisa...“

„Nooo, but you are my husband!“

„By that logic I should expect you to cook for me!“

„You don’t let me cook, Rei-chan.“

„I prefer to avoid fires and food poisoning when possible.“

Nagisa laughed heartily as they approached the car.

\----------------------------

When they arrived at home, they agreed to sit down and continue unpacking straight away, so as to avoid lazing around and then never getting anything done. Even Rei was susceptible to the power of procrastination. Sitting on the floor, surrounded by boxes and paper, Nagisa found himself continuously glancing over at the taller man. Rei was always taking care of everyone, even more so than he took care of himself. While Nagisa’s job as a museum guide satisfied his passion for history and allowed him to spend every working day trying to infect other people with his enthusiasm, it didn’t pay much. Almost everything they had, the car, the furniture, the house, was thanks to Rei, who spent long days slaving over numbers and equations and results and thinking up procedures and projects and theorems and solutions. Of course, even in a state of severe exhaustion Rei insisted he’d never give up his job at the research centre for anything and that Nagisa was never a burden for him. The blond couldn’t believe his own luck, especially in the middle of his shift, laughing and smiling and enjoying every second of it while not having to worry about their expenses or living comfortably.

The last thing Nagisa wanted was to add pressure, but the sight of Rei with a child, taking care of the small girl and knowing exactly what to say and do to calm her down and make her smile, felt so right. It wasn’t even a shock, it just seemed so normal and logical. He fiddled with a piece of paper lying next to his thigh and kept his gaze down. He started, „Rei, you know that spare room we’re using as kind of a storage space?“

Rei stopped unpacking a cardboard box and turned to look at Nagisa. „Yeah.“ The blond started sorting through some picture frames they’d bought that day, pretending to read the backs, though he was hardly interested in the manufacturing. 

„Well, I kind of have an idea for it.“

Rei turned back around and also started fiddling with something. „Oh, I actually had something in mind, too.“

Nagisa punched himself internally. Of course, he had forgotten Rei wanted it as a study. „Ahh, yeah, a study, right?“

„Well, it’s got a really large window, so there is really good lighting, and it’s got a view of the garden as well, which makes for a comfortable, quiet, calm environment, so I was thinking maybe we could make it a... a kid’s room?“

Nagisa snapped his head up to stare at Rei’s nape. The man was still fiddling with some of the decoration they’d bought earlier and was clearly nervous, despite trying to seem calm and composed. The blond was apparently suffering from some sort of ecstatic paralysis. His stomach was squeezing in joy and his mind was whirring. He didn’t realize he hadn’t said anything yet until Rei continued, „Unless you have something else in mind, or you don’t want that, or-„

„Rei-chan, that’s exactly what I was going to say I wanted it to be!“

Rei hesitated for a moment and then turned to look back at the blond. He looked slightly scared, but hopeful. „You want to have a kid with me?“

Nagisa laughed and tossed aside the picture frame he had been clutching for support. „Of course, you giant nerd!“

Rei’s face slowly, gently lifted in a relieved grin and he crawled over to Nagisa, tackled him and pinned him to the carpeted floor. Nagisa’s giggles were muffled when their lips connected, softly sliding over each other, parted and perfectly in sync. After a couple minutes, Rei pulled back and the short blond took the opportunity to roll them over so he was laying flat on top of the butterfly. He leaned his forearms on either side of Rei’s head and looked into his eyes, a soft smile melting his features. 

„I’m gonna spend the rest of my life with you, Rei.“ he said quietly. Rei looked back at him and lifted one eyebrow slightly. „That is in our vows, you know.“

„It’s called romance, Rei-chan.“

The blunet’s features dropped into a serious expression and a sliver of worry started building in Nagisa’s gut. Rei’s eyes were skipping around his husband’s face, taking it all in, obviously thinking hard about something. He placed his palms on Nagisa’s sides, the soft pressure sending shivers down his spine. The smaller moved his hands to gently stroke over Rei’s shaved cheeks. He gave the man underneath him a questioning look, the need to communicate their every thought in order to be understood no longer existent.

„It’s weird, isn’t it?“ Rei’s voice was the same as when he was discussing a particularly mind-blowing theorem or experiment result – laced with gentle fascination. „That time at the pool when you kissed me you were so embarassed. And I spent months on end wondering if you had feelings for me. And now we’re married.“

Nagisa kissed him on the lips gently. „Yeah, it is weird... It’s been, what, eight years? Eight and a half?“

Rei’s hands slipped around the blond’s waist to embrace him tightly. „Mmm...“ he hummed in that familiar way of his, a deep rumbling sound. „Eight and a half years of being the luckiest person in the world.“  
His voice was quiet when he said it and his gaze absent. He wasn’t saying it to Nagisa, he was saying it to himself, the same way Nagisa saw visitors at the museum marvelling openly at artefacts with mumbled praise despite being all alone. Magenta irises clouded over with the beginnings of tears and he leaned down to rest his forehead against Rei’s cheek. „Please don’t ever leave me.“

Rei huffed out a breathy laugh and reached a hand up to nest in blond locks. „Till death do us part, right?“

„Don’t leave me even then, Rei-chan!“

„Of course.“

They stayed lying on the floor between boxes and discarded decorations and books until they both drifted off to sleep, the exhaustion of the day’s physical and emotional strain catching up to them. Three weeks later, they threw out the last of the empty boxes and slid the last book into its place on their bookshelf, and they sat down together in front of the computer to start looking at adoption agencies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DEDICATED TO RYNN BECAUSE YOU SEEMED SO EXCITED FOR THIS IN THE LAST COMMENT


	33. Our Child

The sound of Hiromi crying woke Rei. He sat up, his eyes still glued shut and burning with exhaustion, but he felt the shift of the matress as Nagisa got out of bed and walked over to the crib on the other side of their bedroom to pick the little girl up. His eyelids finally agreed to cooperate and he saw the blond walking back over to their bed, holding a bundle of baby pyjamas and blankets in his arms, a crown of black hair sticking out on one side and tiny socked feet kicking weakly on the other end. Nagisa sat down on the edge of the bed and Rei leaned over to look at the baby, their baby, as she calmed and settled with the rocking motions of her father’s movements.

„Why don’t we let her sleep here with us?“

Rei sighed softly and responded with the same argument he always used when Nagisa asked the question. „What if either of us rolls over and crushes her? It’s not a good idea, Nagisa.“

Hiromi’s breaths picked up in pace again and she started kicking a little more viciously, and after barely a few seconds she was crying loudly again despite Nagisa’s attempts to rock her back to sleep. „Here.“ Rei offered, ignoring the migraine he could feel coming on from a lack of sleep and spending long working hours in a stuffy lab, and reached out to lift the unsettled girl out of Nagisa’s arms and hold her against his chest. He moved his upper body from side to side slowly and hummed a haphazard tune under his breath, and soon enough Hiromi had calmed down again, little fists curled loosely on either side of her head and round cheeks puffing out in increasingly deep breaths as she drifted off to sleep. 

Nagisa reached out and brushed Rei’s navy bangs back tenderly. „Wow, Rei!“ he whispered, „I knew you’d be an amazing father.“ 

„So are you!“ Rei breathed in response, careful not to wake the baby up again. „Maybe you’re just too energetic for her at this time of night.“

„Or maybe she just misses her other daddy when he’s at work all day, working hard.“

The taller man didn’t say anything. He got up slowly and walked over to the empty crib to lay Hiromi down carefully and bundle her up in blankets. He took the stuffed penguin and placed it next to her, pausing for a couple seconds to look at her lovingly, still taking in the fact that this was their baby – regardless of genetics and blood, Hiromi was his and Nagisa’s child and always would be. He felt a stab of guilt and longing in his gut, so he walked back to the bed, where Nagisa was still sitting and watching him in silence. Rei crawled over the covers and collapsed onto the pillows, facing Nagisa, who had also turned to watch him, worried. „I’m sorry I’m not home much to help with Hiromi...“ he whispered eventually.

Nagisa tilted his head and his eyebrows scrunched up together. He laid down next to Rei and leaned over him. „Baby, all of this is thanks to you! You work so hard to keep us comfortable... I should be the one apologizing.“

„Nagisa, you quit a job you loved to take care of Hiromi, that’s a huge sacrifice.“

The blond was quiet for a while before smiling slightly and ducking down to press soft kisses all over Rei’s face. He pulled back to hover a mere two inches above Rei and muttered, „I’d sacrifice anything for my family.“

The blunet lifted his arms to wrap them tightly around Nagisa’s waist and he breathed out deeply through his nose. The warmth and kindness in Nagisa’s voice was soothing him and his eyelids were beginning to grow heavy again, but he desperately tried to cling onto consciousness despite knowing how early he had to wake up the next morning. Nagisa kissed him on the lips. „Thank you for everything, Rei.“

„Thank you.“ he responded weakly, vision increasingly blurry and arms releasing their hold on his husband. Nagisa chuckled. „I love you. Get some sleep, okay? If Hiromi wakes up again I’ll deal with it. Get some rest.“

Rei mustered up all his energy to press one final kiss to the smaller man’s soft lips before falling down, mumbling „You’re beautiful“ and then slipping into unconsciousness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm really sorry that these couple last chapters r taking me 5ever, but pls pls b patient! i'm in my first week of uni and just kind of trying to balance everyhting out! :D i will b updating as often as possible so i hope you all keep checking if this fic's been updated or not! :) 
> 
> thank you all for sticking with me so far i appreciate all ur support!!!


	34. Your Most Striking Feature

It had been a long day at work and Rei’s steps gained a purpose as the front door came into sight. It was always like this – coming home to Nagisa and Hiromi after hours in a stuffy lab was a literal breath of fresh air, but it was also a warmth and comfort Rei never imagined he would get from something other than books. Things had changed so incredibly much over the years, and looking back at his high school days was like slipping into an entirely different universe – one where grades mattered more than friends, then one where Nagisa was nothing more than a friend (at least officially), and then one where it was just the two of them, skipping around the big world, childish and foolish. And now Rei was pulling out his key to greet his husband and their beautiful daughter. 

He opened the front door and was about to exclaim „I’m home!“ when he was interrupted by Hiromi running out into the hall towards him, tears streaming down her face in a manner that Rei knew was caused not by pain, but by childish greed. He sighed and bent down to drop his briefcase and allow the four year old girl to run into his arms. „Papa!“ she wailed, hiccuping and screeching. 

„What’s wrong, Hiromi?“

There was a thud of someone stopping in the doorway to the living room and Rei looked up to see a familiar mop of blond hair. Nagisa looked tired and stressed out, a pair of worn out jeans sticking out from under one of Rei’s t-shirts, and slim fingers shaking and quivering. He looked like he was on the verge of breaking down. Rei felt concern bubbling up in his gut and he looked from Nagisa to Hiromi, waiting for someone to explain. 

„Papa!“ Hiromi started again, „Papa won’t let me play with my toy car!“ 

Rei felt slightly relieved at the superficial nature of the issue but Nagisa was still shaking in the doorway. „Hiromi, you broke your toy car, remember? You have so many other toys, why not play with them?“ 

The girl started wriggling in Rei’s arms, trying to escape, and eventually flopped loosely in his grip, sobbing quietly. „Hiromi, I don’t have a toy car either! And Papa doesn’t either, see? We both want toy cars too, but none of us have any, see?“

The girl quietened down and looked around the room curiously. The argument must have convinced her because she stopped crying entirely and seemed eager to go back to play. Rei looked over at Nagisa, but the man was turning around and walking away, and then Rei heard their bedroom door closing. He toed his shoes off, Hiromi still sitting on his forearm, and shuffled quickly to the living room. He shook his head gently at the state of the room and managed to find a spot on the carpet that was free of scattered toys and pieces of paper with colorful scribbles on it. He sat Hiromi down on the ground and patted her head. „Play here quietly for a little, okay princess?“ 

In high school, Nagisa would bottle problems and pain up until he reached breaking point, but Rei was sure that he didn’t do that anymore. Could it be that he had somehow missed that Nagisa was dealing with something? The man hurried to the bedroom and his pace quickened as he recognized the sound of muffled sobs escaping through the crack under the door. He didn’t bother knocking. He entered and walked right to the bed on the other side of the room, swinging the door shut behind him. Nagisa was lying on the duvet on his side, with his back to the door and Rei. The blunet loomed over him and picked him up bridal style, ignoring the way Nagisa’s hands shot up to cover his face, and he turned to sit on the edge of their double bed with the shaking blond in his lap. 

„Nagisa,“ he whispered, cheek pressed against his husband’s forehead and a hand reaching into blond curls in a comforting gesture. „What’s the matter?“

Nagisa didn’t respond. The taller man pressed a kiss to his forehead and rocked him a little, more a habit from nursing their daughter than anything else, though it seemed to help calm Nagisa down. He was still the same as always – he had matured immensely over the years, but he was still as free-spirited as he was in high school and was childish in the way he made Rei feel the need to protect and to comfort.

„Baby, why won’t you talk to me?“ Rei tried again. Nagisa curled into the other’s broad chest and pulled his knees up to rest his feet on the bed.

„It’s silly...“ he admitted quietly, almost shyly, sniffling right after. 

„What is it?“

There was another pause, but Rei knew that it stemmed from Nagisa’s trying to decide how the phrase his confession rather than hesitation to confide in Rei. 

„I just feel so guilty when she cries, even if it’s over something so silly.“ 

Rei smiled gently to himself. Nagisa was so unbelievably kind and caring, even though he had his moments of being an evil mastermind to the point where it was slightly terrifying, and even though he could be somewhat sex-crazed and absolutely inappropriate in the best of ways. His most striking feature would always be his unfathomable kindness and compassion for others. Rei hugged him more tightly and continued rocking him in his arms until the blond calmed down and wiped his face on his sleeve to clean himself up. The blunet reached up to brush blond strands out of his face, running a hand to the back of Nagisa’s smaller head and pulling him forward by the nape to kiss him softly, trying to reassure him that his fears and his emotions are all justified and important, but that there is no reason for him to feel any guilt. Nagisa’s hands fisted at Rei’s shirt in that adorable way they always had when they’d kiss as teenagers, still in that honeymoon phase. The blond was warm and his kisses were eager, albeit delicate. There was no rush or urgency, no desperate longing or heated desire, it was just the two of them kissing as they had done on an impossibly regular basis. 

They were interrupted by the sound of tiny knuckles brushing weakly against the wood of the bedroom door and then the thump of a tiny person standing on her tiptoes to reach and press the doorhandle to enter the room. Nagisa slid backwards to seat himself next to Rei rather than on top of him, however innocent their position may have been. Hiromi trotted into the illuminated room with a piece of paper clutched in her hand, heading for Nagisa who leaned down slightly to go down onto her level. She stopped in front of him, beaming, and handed the paper to him. It was a drawing of the three of them standing on the beach, with a cloud above each of their heads – Hiromi’s said ‚Hiromee’ in it, and both Rei’s and Nagisa’s had ‚Papa’ written in big red letters. 

Nagisa reached out and took the paper from Hiromi, his eyes growing slightly wetter again but his lips were stretched out into a massive glowing grin. He bent down to kiss her on the head and the girl ran back out, impatient to get back to her toys, which were still littering the floor of their living room. Rei watched Nagisa as he scanned the colors of the drawing and then carefully laid it down on their bedside table. Rei smiled and stood up to get changed out of his work clothes, but Nagisa grabbed his hand and whirled him around to press into him in a hard kiss. They parted after a couple minutes of lips sliding over each other, but Nagisa kept his arms around the blunet’s neck long enough to tell him, „Thank you.“

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY GUYS I AM SOOO SORRY THIS TOOK ME SO LONG TO WRITE BUT I WAS BUSY WITH UNI AND WHATNOT
> 
> i have a plan written out for the final chapter but it's all making me soooo sad i rly wanted this to last longer... i have ideas for a couple other reigisa fics so i will be writing those at some point and i have also had a fic request on tumblr which was brilliant fun so thank you so much for that!! 
> 
> anways i hope yall enjoy this chapter and i am hoping the next one will break your hearts and simultaneously make you all weep with joy, i am pouring all my effort into making it as fluffy as possible to make it a decent ending for this fic!


	35. The End

A light drizzle patted softly against the glass of the window, creating a gentle humming harmony. The sun tried desperately to be seen through the grey clouds that coated the sky, but it was unwelcome. It was a peaceful day. Barely anyone was walking on the sidewalk outside, and the only movement was that of cars speeding past the house and the raindrops falling onto the ground. Puddles spotted the pavement, splashing apart under the footstep of an occasional pedestrian, rushing with a hand pulling at their hood or clutching an umbrella. It was early afternoon, but it was one of those days when time does not matter. If you looked outside, you’d guess it was evening and the day was coming to an end. 

The house itself was quiet. It was missing the pitter-patter of a teenage girl’s feet – Hiromi was spending the day at a friend’s house. None of the lights in any of the rooms were switched on, enveloping the walls in delicate shadows, the outlines of chairs, tables and bookshelves scratching through the half-darkness. The kitchen was filled with the quiet buzzing of the refridgerator, but other than that, it was only the sound of the small raindrops, except for one room. If you stood outside the master bedroom and pressed your ear against the wooden door, you’d just about hear the sound of a man humming a slow melody. If you really strained yourself and perhaps even held your breath, maybe you’d even make out the occasional brush of socked feet against the floor. 

The dim room was quiet by regular standards, but compared to the rest of the house, it was as if an orchestra was packed between the beige walls and their aim was to blow the windows out. The bed was neatly made, a stack of pillows against the headboard and not a single crease on the dark brown duvet – a color Nagisa picked out after long work days and their bright purple covers caused Rei to have trouble sleeping. The bedside table had a lamp and a science-fiction novel on it. It was Nagisa’s old favorite that he had randomly found at the bookshop and finished the next day, only to begin it again. It was a story of a treasure hunter who accidentally discovers a secret land, inhabited by a strange and fascinating people and has to make a choice whether to go back to a safe but limiting home, or to make a new one there. It’s the only book that isn’t on one of their several bookshelves, the shelves themselves beginning to dip slightly in the centre, weakened by the weight of Rei’s many science books. One wall was covered by a massive wardrobe, filled with both Nagisa and Rei’s colorful clothes, as well as Rei’s official suits for meetings and conferences. Everything in the room, in the house, told a story – a tale of two boys who met and changed each other’s worlds and all the moments since. But they were all quiet now.

In the centre of the room were the two men. The short blond had his arms wrapped around the taller’s waist, fingers digging into the material of his navy sweater and face pressed against the blunet’s shoulder, only his closed eyes visible above it. The other man pressed one arm across the blond’s upper back, over his shoulder blades to rest a palm over his upper arm. The man’s other hand was playing with blond locks and his chest was rising and falling randomly as he hummed a deep melody. Their feet shuffled harmoniously around each other, pulling them in slow lazy circles over the warm floor, their bodies swaying to the tune. It wasn’t a melody either had heard before. It had no deep meaning for the two of them, and Rei was coming up with it on the spot. His mind was elsewhere, allowing him to give an effortless and calm sound, a deep rumbling arrangement of breaths floating through the room. 

Rei’s hair was beginning to have a slightly softer shade of blue, the result of individual grey hairs appearing between his navy strands. His purple eyes were now framed by barely-visible wrinkles, but other than that, his face was as it had been since Nagisa had met him. The blond, on the other hand, looked as young and energetic as ever, his hair messy and skin well-rested. Nagisa knew he had Hiromi to thank for that –she was a wonderful child who didn’t misbehave too much and loved to help around the house. He remembered how tired his parents always looked, even when all his sisters had moved out and it was just the three of them. 

Nagisa felt so warm – with the darkness of the room and the world outside, the greys and shapes of buildings distorted by the rainwater gliding down the windows, the deep browns of the bedroom radiated a comforting warmth, like a big blanket thrown over a trembling child at the height of winter. Rei’s breaths huffed past his temple, warm fingertips skidding over his scalp and a soothing melody lulling him into a state of sleepy intoxication. Though Nagisa could hear the cars passing, it felt like the world had disappeared, deciding to leave the two of them alone for the day, blessing them with a timeless blur of dark skies and gentle drizzle to make the moment last as long as possible. His feet were dragging along the floor more with each step, his mind awake and nowhere near tired, pulled down by relaxation and the ease of the moment, his heartbeats slowed by the utter lack of worry, as if Rei’s humming had simply blown it all away. Rei shifted against his body, the arm that had been supporting his back snaking its way to wrap around his waist, and before the blond knew what was happening, Rei had lifted him up slightly to let Nagisa stand on the bridges of Rei’s own feet, all the while continuing their comfortable dance and not breaking the melody. His arm remained around the smaller man’s waist, and Nagisa threw his arm up to hook it around Rei’s neck, pulling himself deeper into the smell of his husband’s sweet cologne. „Thank you...“ he slurred, the perfect tranquility of the moment slowing down his movements. 

Rei turned his head to press feathery kisses to Nagisa’s cheek, his melody slowing down a little and beginning to grow faint, his breaths now occupied with the man leaning against him, eyes closed and lips curled in a relaxed smile. The blond didn’t move, apart from the corners of his lips, which lifted higher and higher everytime he felt a kiss pressed to his skin. Rei laid a final touch to the smaller man’s cheekbone and then rested the bridge of his nose against Nagisa’s temple. He continued to sway from side to side and around and around, carrying the weight of the both of them for as long as Nagisa needed him to, and he smiled and mumbled, „Happy 20th anniversary.“

The blond responded by kissing Rei’s chin and settling back against his chest, his eyes still closed but tensed with the rosey smile that lifted his cheeks. Rei started humming again, this time a different tune, though also one he’d never heard before, a calm slow melody, almost solemn, as if after all the happiness they’d experienced together, he couldn’t create a sound beatific enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well, it's done guys! i really hope you enjoyed this last chapter! i want to thank you all for supporting me throughout these past couple months while i was writing this and for being so patient with me when i slowed down with the last chapters. you have all been absolutely amazing and wonderful and i hope you continue to support me with future works :) i cannot believe this, but i actually got extremely emotional writing this chapter, because even though it has been as much as 35 chapters, it feels like it was nowhere near long enough. this was my first multi-chapter fic and i've actually gotten really quite attached to it! 
> 
> thank you all again, and please leave feedback to let me know what you thought of the ending, you know i enjoy breaking your hearts in the best of ways! :) <3

**Author's Note:**

> i've had requests for rintori and makoharu so those two will be involved romantically but it will be no more than a couple chapters focusing on those two because we r here to worship the reigisa after all!!!
> 
> hope yall enjoy it and pls leave feedback, your comments are what motivates me to update this almost everyday!!! :)
> 
> \----
> 
> i am sooooooo sad this is slowly coming to an end i feel like a mother whose child is getting ready to move out
> 
> as u may have noticed i have updated how many chapters there will be it is now no longer the mystery question mark of 'this fic will never be completed' and is the promise of 35 chapters!!!!


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